As happens so often, I had the opportunity to meet a person this week who has and is dealing with significant challenges in his life. During the course of our conversation I learned a lot about myself. How I face hurdles. How I react to “bad” things happening in my life. How others react and what I can learn from that.
As all of you know, and may be sick of hearing about, I am an avid golfer. I have experienced challenges regarding my eye sight. And I deal with certain mental health challenges. I have alluded to the fact that I have noticed my vision decreasing. It became quite concerning when I realized I had difficulties seeing my golf ball after I hit it. Finally I made an appointment. I was afraid of what I might hear.
The day before the appointment I met the person I just mentioned. He walked into the meeting room, sat down and proceeded to inform me that he was visually impaired. As he told me his story a host of emotions raced through me. I was amazed at his positive approach to life. I liked his sense of humour. I was intrigued with the eye issues he was describing. In my twisted way of thinking I was also convinced that this was an omen of things to come for me.
As he talked I became convinced that he had been dealing with this for most of his life. I found out different. A mere year and a half ago, in a matter of six weeks, he went from having good vision to being virtually blind. He was a 4 handicap in golf. For all you non golfers that means he was pretty darn good. A goal that I strive for but have been unable to achieve. He was happily married with two young kids. He had an up and coming career. Moving ahead in life. Then the unthinkable. A loss of sight. He has adapted and continues to adapt. By his own admission he has a much better view of what is important in life.
We talked about approaching life with a positive attitude. In spite of our inner most fears and concerns we could put on a happy face. We talked about faking it. Even when the inner emotions clouded our thinking it was important to show positive energy. The comment was made that even faking it sometimes helped in actually giving us a more positive outlook.
So what do I see? Physically I see less than would be ideal. However the good news is that it will take a simple laser procedure to fix that. It is a matter of getting the appointment sooner rather than later. Oh, and my son says, bad omens can &%*& themselves. Perhaps he has a point.
Emotionally my vision also needs an adjustment. How I react to various challenges defines who I am as a person. I have choices. It is important to keep things in perspective. I know. It is easier for some then for others. But there are ways and means of working our way through the challenges we face. Often times we cannot do it alone. That is why I am thankful that I met this person. He is helping me “see” better.
Some of my favorite quotes come to mind. “The important things in life are not things.” “Make life changes before life changes.” “The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon but that we wait so long to begin it.” Make it a good one.
The Recovering Farmer
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I Know Enough
I have learned so much over the years. Not that long ago a friend told me that I was self-aware. I think that means that I have gained an understanding of what drives me, what triggers my emotions, what upsets me and what provides some sort of happiness. Having said that I still am often bewildered by emotions that come out of nowhere and create uncomfortable feelings.
Perhaps it is like I heard someone say at a meeting this week. “I know enough to know that I know nothing.” I chuckled when I heard that. In fact got out my blackberry and sent myself an email with that quote. Ended up getting a tongue lashing from the chairman as he felt I was “playing” with my cell phone rather than participating in the discussion. Little did he know that I had heard something that made so much sense in my personal journey.
Perhaps it becomes a matter of recognition. Although having said that, I know full well that I recognize the feelings that wash over me in certain experiences. And then I spend time analyzing those, trying to figure out where they came from. And the more I analyze the deeper I slide into a state that leaves me depressed, angry and not willing to participate in life.
Perhaps I need to get over it. Build that bridge. Quit over analyzing everything that happens. Quit trying to figure out why people just don’t seem to understand. At one point this week I was frustrated with my wife and kids. They thought I was down. They were wondering what was wrong. I got frustrated. Did they not understand? It wasn’t me. It was them. The more I tried to push it the angrier I got. As I lay in bed that night trying to make sense of it all I concluded that I was probably wallowing in self pity. Although, god forbid, I would never want to admit that out loud. Surely those around me should recognize that it was their fault, not mine.
I came to the realization, the following morning, that I felt better. That was strange. After all, if my funk the night before was everybody else’s fault then why was I feeling better? Yes, I became more self-aware. I realized, came to an understanding that there were certain experiences in life that had been dragging me down the day before. I realized that my emotions had gotten the most of me. I realized that because of my unwanted thoughts and feelings my expectations of others were unrealistic. I realized that I had been unfair. I, in some bizarre way, was trying to punish those closest to me for what I was going through.
So what now? Surely at my age I should know better. Surely I should be able to control and contain those feelings that I KNOW are wreaking havoc on relationships. Now you know why that quote meant so much to me. “I know enough to know I know nothing.” I must do better. The irony is I know enough to know that if I can control those feelings of emptiness, regrets, resentment and, yes, self-pity, I am a happier person. That is a good start. But I need to learn even more. Make it a good one.
Perhaps it is like I heard someone say at a meeting this week. “I know enough to know that I know nothing.” I chuckled when I heard that. In fact got out my blackberry and sent myself an email with that quote. Ended up getting a tongue lashing from the chairman as he felt I was “playing” with my cell phone rather than participating in the discussion. Little did he know that I had heard something that made so much sense in my personal journey.
Perhaps it becomes a matter of recognition. Although having said that, I know full well that I recognize the feelings that wash over me in certain experiences. And then I spend time analyzing those, trying to figure out where they came from. And the more I analyze the deeper I slide into a state that leaves me depressed, angry and not willing to participate in life.
Perhaps I need to get over it. Build that bridge. Quit over analyzing everything that happens. Quit trying to figure out why people just don’t seem to understand. At one point this week I was frustrated with my wife and kids. They thought I was down. They were wondering what was wrong. I got frustrated. Did they not understand? It wasn’t me. It was them. The more I tried to push it the angrier I got. As I lay in bed that night trying to make sense of it all I concluded that I was probably wallowing in self pity. Although, god forbid, I would never want to admit that out loud. Surely those around me should recognize that it was their fault, not mine.
I came to the realization, the following morning, that I felt better. That was strange. After all, if my funk the night before was everybody else’s fault then why was I feeling better? Yes, I became more self-aware. I realized, came to an understanding that there were certain experiences in life that had been dragging me down the day before. I realized that my emotions had gotten the most of me. I realized that because of my unwanted thoughts and feelings my expectations of others were unrealistic. I realized that I had been unfair. I, in some bizarre way, was trying to punish those closest to me for what I was going through.
So what now? Surely at my age I should know better. Surely I should be able to control and contain those feelings that I KNOW are wreaking havoc on relationships. Now you know why that quote meant so much to me. “I know enough to know I know nothing.” I must do better. The irony is I know enough to know that if I can control those feelings of emptiness, regrets, resentment and, yes, self-pity, I am a happier person. That is a good start. But I need to learn even more. Make it a good one.
Friday, May 10, 2013
How Old Am I
Finally, May 4, the golf course opened. Many people had waited a long time for that. It was exciting to see people milling about the first tee box. Eagerly awaiting that first shot. The sun felt warm. A gentle breeze. Birds singing in the trees. What could possibly go wrong? Well, all the visions of grandeur, the dreams of the golf ball taking off in flight, disappeared quickly when many of us realized that muscle memory had gone the way of the dodo bird.
Not that I am complaining but there was something else missing that day. I quickly realized that not having used the treadmill all winter could create a problem. My first clue should probably have been the fact that doing up my pants had become more difficult. Then again, what is there to do in a long drawn out winter? Snow, wind and cold temperatures. Watch TV and snack , of course.
By the end of the second hole I was not entirely convinced that I would make it. My legs felt wobbly. I was having a difficult time breathing. I started coughing. Perhaps I should have treated myself to a cart this first round. But I knew that at some point I would have to face reality and realize the only way to fix this problem was to keep at it. Long story short, I made it. When I stumbled into the house after the round I literally threw myself on the couch. My wife took one look at me and started laughing. No sympathy there. I wonder why.
I did it again the following day. Not sure what I was trying to prove. Perhaps trying to fool myself into thinking I am still young. The fact that my grandson was over for night should have been enough to help me understand that I am not young. I am a grandpa. Perhaps that in itself should have provided me all the reasons in the world to ride rather than walk.
This getting older sucks. There are increasing limitations. Everything hurts a little longer. I wonder how much of feeling your age is mental. Read an interesting question this morning. “How old would you be if you didn’t know hold you are”? That got me thinking. Perhaps I need to change my perspective. Perhaps the fact that my muscles hurt, my legs ache, my back is stiff, and I get short of breath just using a key board, is just a figment of my imagination.
Who am I kidding? I am getting older. And getting older means I need to change things. I need to be cognizant of what I eat. I need to make sure I get physical exercise. I need to make sure I get mental exercise. I need to get with it. We have all heard of the golden years. Not sure when that is and whether I have arrived. I remember a short poem that addresses that and have added it at the bottom. Based on that I may have arrived. But then again I am going to change my thinking and everything else should fall into place. I hope. Make it a good one.
The golden years have come at last
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot s****
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks,
My bodies drooping, got trouble pooping.
The golden years have come at last,
The Golden Years can kiss my a**!
(author unknown)
Not that I am complaining but there was something else missing that day. I quickly realized that not having used the treadmill all winter could create a problem. My first clue should probably have been the fact that doing up my pants had become more difficult. Then again, what is there to do in a long drawn out winter? Snow, wind and cold temperatures. Watch TV and snack , of course.
By the end of the second hole I was not entirely convinced that I would make it. My legs felt wobbly. I was having a difficult time breathing. I started coughing. Perhaps I should have treated myself to a cart this first round. But I knew that at some point I would have to face reality and realize the only way to fix this problem was to keep at it. Long story short, I made it. When I stumbled into the house after the round I literally threw myself on the couch. My wife took one look at me and started laughing. No sympathy there. I wonder why.
I did it again the following day. Not sure what I was trying to prove. Perhaps trying to fool myself into thinking I am still young. The fact that my grandson was over for night should have been enough to help me understand that I am not young. I am a grandpa. Perhaps that in itself should have provided me all the reasons in the world to ride rather than walk.
This getting older sucks. There are increasing limitations. Everything hurts a little longer. I wonder how much of feeling your age is mental. Read an interesting question this morning. “How old would you be if you didn’t know hold you are”? That got me thinking. Perhaps I need to change my perspective. Perhaps the fact that my muscles hurt, my legs ache, my back is stiff, and I get short of breath just using a key board, is just a figment of my imagination.
Who am I kidding? I am getting older. And getting older means I need to change things. I need to be cognizant of what I eat. I need to make sure I get physical exercise. I need to make sure I get mental exercise. I need to get with it. We have all heard of the golden years. Not sure when that is and whether I have arrived. I remember a short poem that addresses that and have added it at the bottom. Based on that I may have arrived. But then again I am going to change my thinking and everything else should fall into place. I hope. Make it a good one.
The golden years have come at last
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot s****
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks,
My bodies drooping, got trouble pooping.
The golden years have come at last,
The Golden Years can kiss my a**!
(author unknown)
Saturday, May 4, 2013
What Now
For months farmers have been planning their year. Planning what crops to grow. Planning and purchasing their inputs. And as happens far too often, mother nature has thrown us a curve ball. Here we are at the end of April, looking out the window and still seeing snow. Obviously we look back to last year when the situation was much different. We hear what “normals” should be for this time of year. We become uncertain as to what normal really is.
There are times I still wonder whether people realize where their food supplies come from. I am reminded of the billboard that stood near Brandon for years. It simply stated that Farming Feeds Us All. The Manitoba Farm and Rural Support Services have Tshirts that say Farmers Feed Cities. In a Free Press article this week some farm leaders were commiserating the late spring and the possibilities of further delays due to flooding. In the comment section under the article one reader wrote, and this is so bizarre I will quote verbatim, “this flood is probably caused by all the fertilizing chemicals they put in the rivers and oceans”. Not sure whether to laugh or cry.
So as we assess what this year might bring, adjustments have to be made. We suspect, but don’t know, that the growing season will be shorter. We think, but don’t know, that we need to change cropping plans. We think, but don’t know, that cash projections will be wrong. We think, but don’t know, that this year may be a write off. A million different scenarios are haunting us 24/7.
All this thinking, all the second guessing can become tiring. We dig down. We search for that resilience that farmers are known for. Sometimes we find it and sometimes we don’t. The unknown and the second guessing can also be incredibly stressful. Farmers feel it. Businesses feel it. The entire community feels it.
Stress management is an integral part of a farmer’s “toolbox”. Recognizing stress for what it is and the damage it can cause is important. Having the ability to deal proactively with that stress is key to survival. It is the key to work/life balance. The key to success.
The good news is that there are many resources available to farmers and the rest of the rural community. The Manitoba Farm and Rural Support Services provide numerous services to help people who are experiencing overwhelming stress. They can provide a listening ear, both over the phone or online. They can provide resources. They are there to help. Confidential and free, the MFRSS is a service for farmers delivered by farmers.
Find someone to talk to. I can tell you from personal experience that talking helps. Verbalizing our inner most fears and anxieties helps to ease the burden. Through talking we find support and, without realizing it, support others. Make it a good one.
There are times I still wonder whether people realize where their food supplies come from. I am reminded of the billboard that stood near Brandon for years. It simply stated that Farming Feeds Us All. The Manitoba Farm and Rural Support Services have Tshirts that say Farmers Feed Cities. In a Free Press article this week some farm leaders were commiserating the late spring and the possibilities of further delays due to flooding. In the comment section under the article one reader wrote, and this is so bizarre I will quote verbatim, “this flood is probably caused by all the fertilizing chemicals they put in the rivers and oceans”. Not sure whether to laugh or cry.
So as we assess what this year might bring, adjustments have to be made. We suspect, but don’t know, that the growing season will be shorter. We think, but don’t know, that we need to change cropping plans. We think, but don’t know, that cash projections will be wrong. We think, but don’t know, that this year may be a write off. A million different scenarios are haunting us 24/7.
All this thinking, all the second guessing can become tiring. We dig down. We search for that resilience that farmers are known for. Sometimes we find it and sometimes we don’t. The unknown and the second guessing can also be incredibly stressful. Farmers feel it. Businesses feel it. The entire community feels it.
Stress management is an integral part of a farmer’s “toolbox”. Recognizing stress for what it is and the damage it can cause is important. Having the ability to deal proactively with that stress is key to survival. It is the key to work/life balance. The key to success.
The good news is that there are many resources available to farmers and the rest of the rural community. The Manitoba Farm and Rural Support Services provide numerous services to help people who are experiencing overwhelming stress. They can provide a listening ear, both over the phone or online. They can provide resources. They are there to help. Confidential and free, the MFRSS is a service for farmers delivered by farmers.
Find someone to talk to. I can tell you from personal experience that talking helps. Verbalizing our inner most fears and anxieties helps to ease the burden. Through talking we find support and, without realizing it, support others. Make it a good one.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
A Difficult Question
Just after I posted my last blog I received a phone call informing me that a close family member had died. Shocking to say the least. Forty two years old. Something really wrong with this picture. That is not supposed to happen. But, unfortunately, it does. How we deal with it becomes the challenge.
We dropped in at my nephew’s that fateful day. His wife had gone out for her usual morning jog. She collapsed. She died. We wonder why. It is heartbreaking to see a family without a mother. Things have changed and will continue to change. I have no concept of what those changes will entail. I often pride myself in being able to connect with people who have or are enduring hardship. This one leaves me completely befuddled.
As we were sitting there and contemplating this tragedy I made a comment to her brother that situations like this brought everything back into perspective. It does. All my whining and complaining about spring taking its jolly time becomes a minor issue. Those financial issues I have been worrying about become a minor irritant. Health issues I thought I had seem to have gone. Reiterates for me what I suggested last week. “The important things in life are not things”.
I saw pain this week like never before. A pain that cannot be fully explained. A pain that leaves one breathless. Hearts that will never mend. Words mean nothing. A feeling of hopelessness. A feeling of being in a really bad dream. A feeling that surely we can wake up and find it is not true.
I also saw family coming together to support, to help, to share the grief. Shock was evident. But I also saw these family members dig deep and find the strength to do what needs to be done.
The world is missing a wonderful person. She epitomized what many wish to become. A mother, a wife, a partner, a sister, a community leader and a mentor to many young kids. On the mantel was a caricature of her in the midst of a bunch of smiling kids. Something she received just a week ago to celebrate the work she had done with kids in the community.
Life is short. In some cases much to short. Finding answers may never happen. Probably not even sure what questions to ask. Other than, WHY??? Here is hoping that this young father finds the strength, finds the stamina, finds the wherewithal to cope, to carry on, and to be the parent that his kids will so desperately need. Here is hoping that the kids can carry on with a life without their mother. Embrace what she has taught them in her short life. And here is hoping that in a time of need I can be there. It will take a community to rally around this family. I need to be part of that community.
We dropped in at my nephew’s that fateful day. His wife had gone out for her usual morning jog. She collapsed. She died. We wonder why. It is heartbreaking to see a family without a mother. Things have changed and will continue to change. I have no concept of what those changes will entail. I often pride myself in being able to connect with people who have or are enduring hardship. This one leaves me completely befuddled.
As we were sitting there and contemplating this tragedy I made a comment to her brother that situations like this brought everything back into perspective. It does. All my whining and complaining about spring taking its jolly time becomes a minor issue. Those financial issues I have been worrying about become a minor irritant. Health issues I thought I had seem to have gone. Reiterates for me what I suggested last week. “The important things in life are not things”.
I saw pain this week like never before. A pain that cannot be fully explained. A pain that leaves one breathless. Hearts that will never mend. Words mean nothing. A feeling of hopelessness. A feeling of being in a really bad dream. A feeling that surely we can wake up and find it is not true.
I also saw family coming together to support, to help, to share the grief. Shock was evident. But I also saw these family members dig deep and find the strength to do what needs to be done.
The world is missing a wonderful person. She epitomized what many wish to become. A mother, a wife, a partner, a sister, a community leader and a mentor to many young kids. On the mantel was a caricature of her in the midst of a bunch of smiling kids. Something she received just a week ago to celebrate the work she had done with kids in the community.
Life is short. In some cases much to short. Finding answers may never happen. Probably not even sure what questions to ask. Other than, WHY??? Here is hoping that this young father finds the strength, finds the stamina, finds the wherewithal to cope, to carry on, and to be the parent that his kids will so desperately need. Here is hoping that the kids can carry on with a life without their mother. Embrace what she has taught them in her short life. And here is hoping that in a time of need I can be there. It will take a community to rally around this family. I need to be part of that community.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Some Thoughts
I am looking out the window this morning and I see beautiful sunshine. It looks almost spring like. Could it be? The problem is most of the brightness is because the sun is reflecting off snow. That needs to change. Having said that I seem to be spending an inordinate time thinking. Perhaps some creative thought but for the most part not.
Saw a wall hanging the other day. It simply said, “the best things in life are not things”. As I recall, I saw that the same night that there was a record lottery win. No. I did not buy a ticket. A 1 in 14 million chance did not sound promising. I am hoping there is a better chance that we will get spring. During a news cast that day it was reported that, on average, lottery winners lose their winnings within seven years. That certainly puts “things” in perspective. How often do we look around and wish for some material “thing”? Far too often me thinks.
I have often mentioned the fast paced world we live in. How we cope becomes an issue. Do you ever notice that when you are in a stressful situation you wish for a cigarette, a strong drink, some chocolate cake? We seem to have these cravings that we know will help us overcome the situation we happen to be in. This may be a problem for some as it can easily lead to addiction. That in itself can be problematic. Trust me, I have been there. I have had to “quit” numerous “bad” habits or addictions in my life. Often times we are not aware that they are problems when in fact they are. I still maintain that some of those bad habits help us maintain our sanity. Unfortunately they can also kill us. “Quitting smoking or drinking does not help us live longer, it just feels like it.” That is probably not a scientifically proven point. For some strange reason I can relate.
I do some work in an office that is primarily women. When you go into the washroom there is a sign on the wall above the toilet. It says, and I quote, “please put down seat after use”. I have seen that in other washrooms and obviously heard that from many and all women around. I always found it rather curious. Why is that a concern? I am privy to a list called the “Man’s List”. Someday I would like to share it in its entirety. But for today I will share but one point. Again, I quote, “LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN”. Somehow, for some strange reason, that makes sense. Then again I am a mediator and try to find common ground. I will leave it at that.
The forecast tells me that by the end of this week we should have normal temperatures. That means that by May 1 I should be golfing. I have had a tough time believing the forecast but for some strange reason I am trusting it now. Perhaps it is desperation. Even my wife is hoping the weather will turn. Aside from the fact that she is sick and tired of winter driving, after all it has been six months, she is tired of me looking longingly out the back window. She also claims that I am getting very ornery. I said ornery. For me that is a sign of cabin fever. I need to get out. If these long winters become a norm I may have to take up a winter sport. Curling? God forbid. Make it a good one.
Saw a wall hanging the other day. It simply said, “the best things in life are not things”. As I recall, I saw that the same night that there was a record lottery win. No. I did not buy a ticket. A 1 in 14 million chance did not sound promising. I am hoping there is a better chance that we will get spring. During a news cast that day it was reported that, on average, lottery winners lose their winnings within seven years. That certainly puts “things” in perspective. How often do we look around and wish for some material “thing”? Far too often me thinks.
I have often mentioned the fast paced world we live in. How we cope becomes an issue. Do you ever notice that when you are in a stressful situation you wish for a cigarette, a strong drink, some chocolate cake? We seem to have these cravings that we know will help us overcome the situation we happen to be in. This may be a problem for some as it can easily lead to addiction. That in itself can be problematic. Trust me, I have been there. I have had to “quit” numerous “bad” habits or addictions in my life. Often times we are not aware that they are problems when in fact they are. I still maintain that some of those bad habits help us maintain our sanity. Unfortunately they can also kill us. “Quitting smoking or drinking does not help us live longer, it just feels like it.” That is probably not a scientifically proven point. For some strange reason I can relate.
I do some work in an office that is primarily women. When you go into the washroom there is a sign on the wall above the toilet. It says, and I quote, “please put down seat after use”. I have seen that in other washrooms and obviously heard that from many and all women around. I always found it rather curious. Why is that a concern? I am privy to a list called the “Man’s List”. Someday I would like to share it in its entirety. But for today I will share but one point. Again, I quote, “LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN”. Somehow, for some strange reason, that makes sense. Then again I am a mediator and try to find common ground. I will leave it at that.
The forecast tells me that by the end of this week we should have normal temperatures. That means that by May 1 I should be golfing. I have had a tough time believing the forecast but for some strange reason I am trusting it now. Perhaps it is desperation. Even my wife is hoping the weather will turn. Aside from the fact that she is sick and tired of winter driving, after all it has been six months, she is tired of me looking longingly out the back window. She also claims that I am getting very ornery. I said ornery. For me that is a sign of cabin fever. I need to get out. If these long winters become a norm I may have to take up a winter sport. Curling? God forbid. Make it a good one.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Spring is Sprung
Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where them . . . Excuse me. Spring is sprung? Where? Not here. I am finding that this long, protracted winter is having a debilitating effect on everyone. People just seem to be “off”. I keep looking out of the window thinking this must change. I check the forecast and wonder whether they know what really is going on. Okay, granted, a slow melt is good. Particularly because of our above normal snow pack and the time of year. I may think that an ongoing winter is devastating but I know full well that a long, drawn out winter is minor compared to a flood. How do I know this? I married a woman who grew up in the Red River Valley. If anyone knows about floods its those folks. They have been there. They bought the Tshirts.
I have had significant difficulties in writing any type of blog. Not sure where to go. Even my happy place does not seem to be happy. I have played numerous golf courses in my mind but even that does not work. My anxiety levels are up. Way up. How do I combat that?
I think there is hope. I hope there is hope. I need there to be hope. But all I see is snow. It will take some time to get rid of that. In desperation I may have to take up snow golf. But I don’t want to. In fact I have suggested to my family that should I be out there, playing snow golf, that they should do what it takes to take me out of my misery. Really. There must be more to life than that. I want spring.
It is interesting to see how our spring, or lack thereof, seems to have sucked out the life of most everyone around. Monday of this week it seemed that everyone I met was tired. Everyone seemed to be without energy. I should know. I was part of that group. Whenever I asked people how they were the answers were the same. Tired. Grouchy. Lack of energy. Where is spring?
So I was going along with the idea that a slow melt was a good thing. That is what we have heard for the last month or more. To avoid a major flood event we were better off if there was a slower melt. I tried to overcome my selfish desires to golf because I realize full well what devastation a flood has. Now I hear that the melt is to slow. That has now become an issue. Excuse me? We can’t seem to win.
Yesterday morning my son informed me that the long range forecast was for a colder than normal summer. I thanked him for providing me with hope for something better. NOT. I shared my frustrations with a group later in the afternoon. One of the participants in that discussion said I needed to relax. It was only April. Things would get better. They always had. My response to him was that in just over two months the days were getting shorter and then the summer was basically over and so what was the use.
Yes, it sounds like I have given up. To top it all off this is the Masters weekend. My all-time favorite golf tournament. Played down in Georgia. Where the azaleas are in full bloom. Stunning vista. Entertaining golf. But guess what? I am missing it all. Going on a short jaunt for the weekend. Check out the spa in Moose Jaw. Poor planning on my part. Perhaps I can fill my emotional gas tank. That is my only hope. The question is, do they have TV’s out there? Oh, I will pay for that. Oh well. Make it a good one.
I have had significant difficulties in writing any type of blog. Not sure where to go. Even my happy place does not seem to be happy. I have played numerous golf courses in my mind but even that does not work. My anxiety levels are up. Way up. How do I combat that?
I think there is hope. I hope there is hope. I need there to be hope. But all I see is snow. It will take some time to get rid of that. In desperation I may have to take up snow golf. But I don’t want to. In fact I have suggested to my family that should I be out there, playing snow golf, that they should do what it takes to take me out of my misery. Really. There must be more to life than that. I want spring.
It is interesting to see how our spring, or lack thereof, seems to have sucked out the life of most everyone around. Monday of this week it seemed that everyone I met was tired. Everyone seemed to be without energy. I should know. I was part of that group. Whenever I asked people how they were the answers were the same. Tired. Grouchy. Lack of energy. Where is spring?
So I was going along with the idea that a slow melt was a good thing. That is what we have heard for the last month or more. To avoid a major flood event we were better off if there was a slower melt. I tried to overcome my selfish desires to golf because I realize full well what devastation a flood has. Now I hear that the melt is to slow. That has now become an issue. Excuse me? We can’t seem to win.
Yesterday morning my son informed me that the long range forecast was for a colder than normal summer. I thanked him for providing me with hope for something better. NOT. I shared my frustrations with a group later in the afternoon. One of the participants in that discussion said I needed to relax. It was only April. Things would get better. They always had. My response to him was that in just over two months the days were getting shorter and then the summer was basically over and so what was the use.
Yes, it sounds like I have given up. To top it all off this is the Masters weekend. My all-time favorite golf tournament. Played down in Georgia. Where the azaleas are in full bloom. Stunning vista. Entertaining golf. But guess what? I am missing it all. Going on a short jaunt for the weekend. Check out the spa in Moose Jaw. Poor planning on my part. Perhaps I can fill my emotional gas tank. That is my only hope. The question is, do they have TV’s out there? Oh, I will pay for that. Oh well. Make it a good one.
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