I read some time ago that a person should never use these words (not even with a proper English spelling). The author went on to say that these words or terms are very negative and do nothing to help a person move forward. I thought about it for awhile and realized how true that is. Whether at work or at play, dealing with kids or partners, or self examining any decisions we have made we so often end up saying “would have” or “could have” or “should have”.
Let me refer to my favorite sport of golf. After each and every round, yes, that’s what it’s called, I sit back and examine every shot I made that day. Eventually my line of thinking goes to “I should have used a different club on that hole”, I would have sunk that putt if I had just hit it harder”, “I could have beat my opponent if only . . .”. You know, if I had accomplished all of that I could have been a professional golfer. Oops. I did it again.
As a recovering farmer I often look back and wonder “what if”. Things might have been different. But, you know, we can not turn back the clock. There were positives. Being a farmer provided me with many opportunities. I met many different people. We were able to raise our kids on the farm. There was certain flexibility in being my own boss. In spite of being a tough way to make a living it was a good way of life.
There is a saying that goes “scars remind us of where we have been but do not have to dictate where we are going”. It takes time, it takes courage and it takes initiative but we can all do it. Try for one day to be positive, thinking about the future and how you can begin to control your own destiny. I have a picture hanging on my office wall that says “the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon but that we wait so long to begin it”. How true. Make it a good one.