Over the course of the last few weeks I have heard numerous diagnoses of all my problems. Based on that you are thinking I have seen various professionals for their opinions. That is not the case, although I think I may need second opinions on what I am about to tell you. Perhaps a professional can tell me whether what I have heard has any merit and actually does pertain to me.
I am reminded of the person that went to see a psychiatrist. He had a problem. For years, since he was a child, he had been frightened about what was lurking under his bed. It truly scared him. So he went to see a professional. The psychiatrist heard him out and then offered to help him get over this problem. But, he informed him, it would be a lengthy process. Would take multiple appointments. The gentleman said he would need to think about this. Many months later the psychiatrist met this person on the sidewalk. He asked him why he had never come back. The guy informed him that a bartender had cured the problem for him. The good doctor was somewhat bemused about this and asked how that could possibly be. The gentleman told him that the bartender had suggested he cut the legs off his bed. Now the problem was gone. He knew for a fact that there was nothing under his bed. Sometimes it is that easy.
While up at Hecla a few weeks ago my friend gave me a listening ear as I related to him some of my issues. I related how I felt unsure of myself, particularly as it relates to my work. I have written about this before. (Met Mei Es Et Nousht, Jan. 26, 2011) At the time I had very low self-esteem. As we talked about it now, he very confidently told me that I am suffering from Imposter Syndrome. He also told me that this is quite common amongst people that do my type of work. I smiled and thought, yeah right, what do you know. When I got home I googled it. Sure enough. He was right. There is actually information on this syndrome and it sounds like what I have.
I also mentioned to him that I had been experiencing anxiety as of late. (I often refer to anxiety in my blog) I related how I was not sure what to do about it. When I did an inventory of my life and the situations I was dealing with there really was no reason to feel anxious. Again, he was quick to jump in and told me that I was suffering from Existential Nausea. Again, I smiled. That one sounded really different. Could it be? I googled that one as well. Wouldn’t you know it? He was right. Again, there is a lot of information on it. Sounded just like what was ailing me. Although when I read it, it seemed that this certain issue included feelings of guilt. It had certain religious connotations to it. Was not sure I wanted to go there. Been fighting that one since I was a kid.
This morning I heard about Last Putter Syndrome (LPS). Although this is not a medical term it again describes me to a tee (no pun intended). It simply refers to the last person to putt on any given hole. (here you thought I was not going to mention golf) I thought about it and it made sense. As the last person putts the others in the group are getting ready to leave the green, putting head covers on putters, picking up the pin, or a host of other activities. Wouldn’t you know it? I missed my putt. I have LPS.
So what now? I have all these things, these maladies, these syndromes I need to deal with. And the more I check symptoms on the internet the more issues I have to deal with. I actually think I went through menopause last week. You may laugh, but I had the symptoms. For the moment it feels overwhelming. Perhaps I need the help of a professional. Then again, perhaps I can help myself. I will try that. Make it a good one.