I realize it has been awhile since I "posted". Perhaps I have not had the inspiration I needed. As you well know that might be because of the weather. I WANT SPRING. I would love to hear feed back on what I have written below. Make a comment. I dare you too.
In the past I have threatened to but never dared go there. I have talked about it but, perhaps, was afraid to. It shaped my life, rightly or wrongly, but shaped it nonetheless. At some point I knew I would have to talk about it. In essence, what I would like to talk about has a certain importance to all of us. Perhaps this may end up with a conclusion, but don’t hold your breath. After all, what I do need to talk about is something that I have no final thoughts on. Rather it comes from someone who is still searching. And maybe that is a good thing. Find out for yourself.
There is the ongoing debate on Bill 18. I tried to ignore it, but couldn’t. I found myself getting upset. What is it with the sanctimonious, self-righteous attitude I am sensing? It does not feel right. Are we not tolerant? Are we not accepting? How does a gay/straight alliance infringe on my religious freedom? What is wrong with this picture? My confusion deepened. I wanted answers.
When I got home I found the latest publication from the church denomination I used to belong to. In it was a letter from a church that I used to be a member of. Expressing outrage. Anger, even, regarding an ongoing discussion on creation. Am I to believe that my belief in a higher being is based solely on whether the earth was created in 7 days? Does science not teach us anything? Some time ago I mentioned that this debate was creating humor in my life. Now I find myself getting upset. Really? Along with all the other rhetoric out there I am left to wonder.
Today I read an article in the Free Press about pastors in North Dakota lobbying the government to allow concealed guns in churches. They are afraid that ner-do-wells (read evil doers) will target churches. The pastor behind the petition stated that "The whole idea of a gun-free zone is inherently dangerous,". Really? I hope that no one becomes too consumed with the spirit. They might start firing their guns. Or in their haste to become judgemental they might shoot the parishioner sitting next to them. Is this the kind of society we live in? We need to carry concealed weapons? To church? Notice my cynicism?
It is downright difficult to establish any type of spirituality in this messed up world. Just over a year ago I thought I had it figured out. Then some amazing things happened which made me wonder again. House purchases that worked out better than anyone could have expected. Health issues being dealt with in positive ways. New birth. New beginnings. Then while expecting certain comments from people who might believe this stuff, getting them from people who you least expect it from.
Read some time ago that “religion is for those that are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have been there”. Interesting comment. I meet people who have and are experiencing personal tragedy, trying to find their way. I suspect it is these types that are sending me positive vibes about a higher being. Divine intervention. People who, and I count myself one of them, would suggest they have had a taste of hell. Through health challenges, both mental and physical. People whose lives have inexplicitly changed forever, due to traumatic and catastrophic events in their lives. Perhaps it is these people that can continue to show me the way as I keep searching. They seem to be the ones that really believe. Make it a good one.