I was involved in a webinar recently with The Do More Agriculture Foundation to
talk about all things mental health and in particular my own journey. We
discussed my alias, The Recovering Farmer, and what that really meant. If we
look at the definition of recovering, it means to return to a previous level of
health, prosperity and equanimity. After I explained where I am at with that (health,
prosperity, and equanimity), I made the comment that I am still in recovery and
will be for the rest of my life.
After the webinar, a participant reached out and thanked me
for that comment, that I am still in recovery and will be for life. It gave her
encouragement knowing she was not alone and could relate to that. That got me
thinking about something I had written some time ago but never posted on my
blog.
I was watching a TV show where a couple was discussing their
friends’ marital relationship which was not doing well. In an effort to explain
their own relationship, the husband said “it may not be too good to be true,
but its good enough.” Instantly my mind went to my mental health and I drew a
comparison: my mental health may not be ‘too good to be true’, but it’s ‘good
enough’. Let me explain.
This winter has been a season of discovery—again. I say
‘again’ because, like so many times before, I’ve found myself searching for
ways to improve my mental health, hoping to feel better, hoping for something
that finally ‘works.’ And as the months have passed, I’ve come to a
realization: good enough might be the best I can achieve.
At first, that thought felt like I was giving up. But the
more I sat with it, the more I realized that accepting ‘good enough’ isn’t
about settling—it’s about being realistic, being kind to myself, and
recognizing that progress doesn’t always look like perfection.
For years, I searched for the one thing that would fix
everything. I wanted that breakthrough moment, the magic bullet that would make
the struggle disappear. Every time I tried something new—whether it was
therapy, medication, mindfulness, or another strategy—I hoped it would be the
answer. And every time I realized that none of them were perfect solutions, I
felt like I had failed. I also realized again that high expectations lead to
future resentment or in my case, feelings of failure.
That feeling of failure was discouraging. I’d get
frustrated, wondering why nothing was ‘working.’ I’d hear stories of people who
turned their lives around with one decision, one treatment, one mindset shift,
and I’d wonder what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t it that simple for me?
What I’ve come to understand is that there is no magic
bullet. There never was. And expecting to find one – and only one -- only made
the journey harder.
Once I let go of the idea that I needed a single, perfect
solution, I started to see things differently. Maybe I wouldn’t find one
answer, but I had already found many things that helped in small ways. Some
days, those things worked better than others. Some days, I still struggled. But
instead of looking for the ultimate fix, I started focusing on what actually
helped, even if it didn’t solve everything.
I realized that ‘good enough’ was still movement in the
right direction. And that mattered.
There are things that help me manage my mental health—not
perfectly, not permanently, but enough to keep me going. Writing has given me
an outlet. Talking with others who understand has helped me feel less alone.
Humor has let me laugh even on the hardest days. Therapy has provided guidance.
And as my doctor told me, often it’s a
compilation of all the small things that shift the mindset. None of these
things are the answer, but together, they are an answer. And that’s enough.
I used to think that anything short of feeling great wasn’t
good enough. But now I see that feeling okay—feeling better than before—is
still a win. Accepting that has lifted a weight off my shoulders. Instead of
feeling like I’m failing, I see that I’m managing. And that’s something to be
proud of.
Let me be clear. This is how I experience my journey. It may
be different for others. If you’ve ever felt like you’re searching for an
answer that doesn’t seem to exist, I hope you can take comfort in this: You
don’t need a magic bullet. You just need what works for you, even if it’s
imperfect. Keep using the tools that help, keep seeking new ones, and keep
reminding yourself that progress isn’t about perfection.
It may not be too good to be true—but it’s good enough. And that’s more than enough for me.
