Sitting on the shores of the Atlantic, in the beautiful province of PEI I am sending out the following thoughts. Tomorrow is the big day. It has truly been a whirlwind of activity. When our daughter first got engaged and they announced the wedding date it seemed like we had forever to get ready. Suddenly it is here. Just like the summer that never was. It has come and is almost gone. From the outset they have asked me to be involved. Obviously said yes and never gave it another thought. Now that we are getting close I am getting really worried. I have been particularly emotional. I wonder why. After all it is only my daughter getting married.
As part of the wedding I have been getting prepared to add my two cents worth as I alluded to some time ago. Found an interesting quote today when I was researching further the difference between men and women. I suppose some of you may think I am consumed by that. Not really. Just aware that there is a difference and I like to do what I can to help. “Men like to socialize by insulting each other but they don’t mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other but they don’t mean it either.” I am leaving that one alone. Might get me in trouble, if it hasn’t already.
As part of the ceremony, as weddings go, there is always a unity ceremony. Some years ago when my son got married they used wine. Mixed a red wine with a white wine. Signified a relationship that could not be separated. This go around there is a plan to use sand. It was neat to take my future son-in-law back to the old stomping grounds. A place that I played at as a child, a place that my kids played at. A sand hill that has provided a ton of fun for a lot of people. You see, the decision was made to use sand as part of the ceremony. So in some way shape or form we will be taking that out to PEI where, during the course of the wedding, that sand will be mixed with some good old red sand from PEI.
That is all good and well. But research it. An estimation has been done that would suggest that there are (approximately) seven quintrillion five quadrillion grains of sand on all the beaches in the world (that’s a 75 with 17 zeros behind it; i.e., 7,500,000,000,000,000,000). And in case you have difficulty wrapping your heads around that it has further been suggested that there are 100 stars in the Universe for every grain of sand on the Earth’s beaches. That is truly mind boggling.
What is my point? I have no idea. I know that life is like shifting sand. Never sure where we will end up. I know that life is unpredictable. But I also know that time is passing us by. I wished someone a happy birthday the other day. He looked at me and asked whether I was aware that I had never been older than I was that very minute. That is mind boggling. That was a week ago. That means I am even older than I was then. That is scary. That puts things in perspective. I need to re-adjust.
Watching young people, the next generation, enter into long term relationships is both mind boggling and reassuring at the same time. For lack of a better term let me call it the magic of love. Good to see. As for the rest of us, remember, life is not about the number of breaths we take but about the moments that take our breath away. Looking forward to having my breath taken away in the next few days. Also hoping I will survive that. Make it a good one.
The Recovering Farmer
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
RIP Robin Williams
It came as quite a shock yesterday when one of my kids let me know that Robin Williams had died. Not only that he died, it appears to be a suicide. Perhaps it is because I seem to be able to relate to a lot of his stuff. Perhaps it is because I have, and keep having, to face similar struggles as him. Perhaps it is because I talked to someone the same age in the last few days who also is questioning his very existence. Maybe it is because when I would see Robin Williams, whether on screen or doing standup comedy, he always provided a laugh. Not many in show biz can lay claim to making me laugh on a regular basis. He did.
Maybe I feel a bond because he has obviously used humour to cover up many of his own struggles. I was reminded of a statement I make in my website. It goes like this; “Never short on humour, because after all humour can be a cover up for much deeper issues, . . . . “. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter provides relief. But always know, laughter also covers sadness. Laughter can be a cover up for so many things. And as one headline said, “Behind the laughter was a harsh reality.”
Aside from Mrs Doubtfire, a movie I have watched more than once, Robin Williams provided entertainment in so many different ways. I will never forget his commentary on golf. In fact listened to it again last night. It has always been and remains absolutely priceless. Just google Robin Williams on golf. Beware of the language. But I suspect all the golfers out there can relate to the language. We hear (use) it every time we golf.
What makes me question so much of what has happened is the circumstances around his demise. He suffered from depression. He has had drug addiction issues in the past. He has been married more than once. He has had affairs. He admitted to being an alcoholic. (Excuse the side bar. The last rehab he checked into was in wine country. He wanted to keep his options open. That is good for a chuckle. Then again you may have had to walk in those steps to get it) Obviously he has been in the public eye. It would seem that money was of no consequence.
So what is it? What pushes people over the edge? A darkness that even his comedic personality could not fix. In the days to come I suspect we will hear more and more of what might have gone wrong. Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps it doesn’t matter. We just know that another person lost their way in the challenges life throws at us. Read a quote recently that went like this. “It is said that the spirit of man can endure only so much and when it is broken only a miracle can mend it.” (John Burroughs) I suspect Robin Williams did not experience that miracle. His struggles are over. He has silenced the demons.
So here is to you Mr. Williams. Thank you for making me laugh, and in that laughter, overcome many of my own challenges. May you have found the peace that eluded you here on earth. May you have found a golf course that works for you. May each stroke (watch the video) feel better than the stroke before. Because at times, quite frankly, it does feel like a stroke. For the rest of us? For God’s sake, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, if life is too much to bear, talk to someone. Anyone. It helps. Make it a good one.
Maybe I feel a bond because he has obviously used humour to cover up many of his own struggles. I was reminded of a statement I make in my website. It goes like this; “Never short on humour, because after all humour can be a cover up for much deeper issues, . . . . “. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter provides relief. But always know, laughter also covers sadness. Laughter can be a cover up for so many things. And as one headline said, “Behind the laughter was a harsh reality.”
Aside from Mrs Doubtfire, a movie I have watched more than once, Robin Williams provided entertainment in so many different ways. I will never forget his commentary on golf. In fact listened to it again last night. It has always been and remains absolutely priceless. Just google Robin Williams on golf. Beware of the language. But I suspect all the golfers out there can relate to the language. We hear (use) it every time we golf.
What makes me question so much of what has happened is the circumstances around his demise. He suffered from depression. He has had drug addiction issues in the past. He has been married more than once. He has had affairs. He admitted to being an alcoholic. (Excuse the side bar. The last rehab he checked into was in wine country. He wanted to keep his options open. That is good for a chuckle. Then again you may have had to walk in those steps to get it) Obviously he has been in the public eye. It would seem that money was of no consequence.
So what is it? What pushes people over the edge? A darkness that even his comedic personality could not fix. In the days to come I suspect we will hear more and more of what might have gone wrong. Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps it doesn’t matter. We just know that another person lost their way in the challenges life throws at us. Read a quote recently that went like this. “It is said that the spirit of man can endure only so much and when it is broken only a miracle can mend it.” (John Burroughs) I suspect Robin Williams did not experience that miracle. His struggles are over. He has silenced the demons.
So here is to you Mr. Williams. Thank you for making me laugh, and in that laughter, overcome many of my own challenges. May you have found the peace that eluded you here on earth. May you have found a golf course that works for you. May each stroke (watch the video) feel better than the stroke before. Because at times, quite frankly, it does feel like a stroke. For the rest of us? For God’s sake, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, if life is too much to bear, talk to someone. Anyone. It helps. Make it a good one.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Perhaps
My last few weeks have been somewhat hectic. After all there is a wedding coming up in two weeks. So preparations have been made, or are being made. So many things to think about. Particularly because we are venturing out to PEI for the festivities. Happens that my daughter’s boyfriend hails from that part of the country. It has been interesting to watch that relationship grow. Not that I had a choice. They had been living in my basement for the last two years. Been interesting nonetheless. How you can take a Mennonite from southern Manitoba and see that person in a committed relationship with a Newfie from PEI is both intriguing and interesting, all at the same time. (I suspect I will pay for that) It reiterates the power of Love. Then again many will question what I know about love. PERHAPS I should focus less on love and more on a relationship that is working.
As part of the fun they have asked me to officiate at their wedding. They wanted me to marry them but because the wedding is out of province different rules exist. To get my one day licence for PEI would have required me to fly out there in June for a one day workshop. I have a difficult time wrapping my head around that. How much training do you really need to say; “by the power vested in me by the province of . . . . .”? PERHAPS it doesn’t matter. I will get an opportunity to share my thoughts. That could be interesting. It should be a blast.
I attended a wedding this last weekend and, as weddings go, it was good. I normally don’t listen to what the officiating minister says. Often when sitting in a church I will be mesmerized by the architecture. This wedding was outside, on a farm. I enjoyed the aroma of the freshly cut hay. The sun was warm. The dynamics were interesting. Even the occasional whiff of cow poop added to the festivities. I have always assumed that what the minister said was for the sake of the couple getting married. But think about it, do you really think they are listening? PERHAPS it doesn’t matter. In this particular case I heard a reference to a Bible verse and it caught my attention.
If you venture back in some of the stuff I have written about previously you will find a quote I love to use. “Relationships provide us with identity, purpose and direction. In essence relationships, and therefore community, is a life giving, life defining and life nurturing process”. Takes awhile but if you think about it, it makes sense. The minister at the wedding read some verses from 1 Corinthians which is often referred to as the love chapter. The first verse he read resonated with me. So needless to say I did not hear the rest. What I did hear was enough.
When we got home from the wedding I went to my computer to check further on what I thought I had heard. Took me awhile but I did find it. The beauty of Google is you can search till you find the words that you need to address the situation you are dealing with. Even with Bible verses. (a story best left for another day) It simply says this. “If I could speak in any language . . . on earth but didn’t love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal.” I know some people like that.
We need relationships to flourish. Without relationships, without other people, without a support system, we have a tendency to slip backwards and often find ourselves mired in a bog of darkness, hopelessness, and loneliness. To be involved in a relationship requires open, honest communication and a real desire to understand the other person. When we communicate, when we show others the willingness to listen and understand, we are working positively on our relationship. That defines us. That gives us direction. That gives us purpose. PERHAPS that is love. PERHAPS it is that simple. Make it a good one.
As part of the fun they have asked me to officiate at their wedding. They wanted me to marry them but because the wedding is out of province different rules exist. To get my one day licence for PEI would have required me to fly out there in June for a one day workshop. I have a difficult time wrapping my head around that. How much training do you really need to say; “by the power vested in me by the province of . . . . .”? PERHAPS it doesn’t matter. I will get an opportunity to share my thoughts. That could be interesting. It should be a blast.
I attended a wedding this last weekend and, as weddings go, it was good. I normally don’t listen to what the officiating minister says. Often when sitting in a church I will be mesmerized by the architecture. This wedding was outside, on a farm. I enjoyed the aroma of the freshly cut hay. The sun was warm. The dynamics were interesting. Even the occasional whiff of cow poop added to the festivities. I have always assumed that what the minister said was for the sake of the couple getting married. But think about it, do you really think they are listening? PERHAPS it doesn’t matter. In this particular case I heard a reference to a Bible verse and it caught my attention.
If you venture back in some of the stuff I have written about previously you will find a quote I love to use. “Relationships provide us with identity, purpose and direction. In essence relationships, and therefore community, is a life giving, life defining and life nurturing process”. Takes awhile but if you think about it, it makes sense. The minister at the wedding read some verses from 1 Corinthians which is often referred to as the love chapter. The first verse he read resonated with me. So needless to say I did not hear the rest. What I did hear was enough.
When we got home from the wedding I went to my computer to check further on what I thought I had heard. Took me awhile but I did find it. The beauty of Google is you can search till you find the words that you need to address the situation you are dealing with. Even with Bible verses. (a story best left for another day) It simply says this. “If I could speak in any language . . . on earth but didn’t love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal.” I know some people like that.
We need relationships to flourish. Without relationships, without other people, without a support system, we have a tendency to slip backwards and often find ourselves mired in a bog of darkness, hopelessness, and loneliness. To be involved in a relationship requires open, honest communication and a real desire to understand the other person. When we communicate, when we show others the willingness to listen and understand, we are working positively on our relationship. That defines us. That gives us direction. That gives us purpose. PERHAPS that is love. PERHAPS it is that simple. Make it a good one.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
What If
I often ponder what if. Perhaps it is my nature. To question why. To question what if. This becomes particularly important when I analyze my golf game. Just a few weeks ago I golfed with a colleague who was somewhat surprised that I could recall my shots after a round had ended. I told him that every night I could clearly recall every shot I had made that day. And keep doing that till my next round. Many of us have that same recall when we think back to many of life’s events.
That brings about a question in my mind. What would happen if we stopped and thought about a shot before we took it? What would happen if we took the time to think of all the various scenarios that could happen? I suspect we would change our approach. We would change our club selection. We would change the way we respond.
In years past I would reply to emails or phone messages at the earliest possible time. Is that not what we need to do? And how often when we do respond we realize later that that was a mistake. “By the way honey, so and so called and I invited them down for supper”. Yeah right. How did that work out for you? Quite often it can be beneficial to wait. Make sure you have thought through your response.
How often do we regret the way we respond to people around us? We get easily agitated. Irritated. We wonder how ignorant other people can be. And then when we stop to think our perspective changes.
How often when we drive down the road do we come close to having an accident? Why is that? The news these days mentions lots of incidences of distracted driving due to cellphone use. Quite frankly there are many things in life that become distracting.
We take so many things for granted. We say things on the spur of the moment without realizing the consequences. We act or react without realizing the consequences of our action. We do not stop to think.
People tell me, and I must agree, watching golf on TV can be very tedious. Why is that? Most of the time the player is assessing the shot. Which way is the wind blowing? What club should I use? Where is the best miss? What if? What if? What if? Happened to me last night. Approached the game with positive thoughts. Stood on the first tee box and envisioned a great game. Had my usual club in hand. The starter told us the yardage to my target. Did I listen? No. Did things go wrong? Yes. Found the ball today when I mowed my grass. That is the good news. You don’t want to hear the bad news.
I commiserated today that things could have gone better. If only I would have listened to the starter. If only I had reconsidered my club selection. If only I would have checked the wind direction. If only I would have stopped and thought about it.
So too is life. We run into scenarios where we act without thinking. We get caught up in the moment. We don’t take the time to think and plan. How many times do we look back with regret because we know things could have turned out differently if only we had planned better? I know I do.
Take the time to plan ahead. Are there any guarantees that life will always be fair, that things will always turn out well? No. But perhaps if we pause, if we take the time to think, if we plan ahead we may have fewer regrets. We may be more positive about the outcome of events in our lives. We may score better. I can only hope. Make it a good one.
That brings about a question in my mind. What would happen if we stopped and thought about a shot before we took it? What would happen if we took the time to think of all the various scenarios that could happen? I suspect we would change our approach. We would change our club selection. We would change the way we respond.
In years past I would reply to emails or phone messages at the earliest possible time. Is that not what we need to do? And how often when we do respond we realize later that that was a mistake. “By the way honey, so and so called and I invited them down for supper”. Yeah right. How did that work out for you? Quite often it can be beneficial to wait. Make sure you have thought through your response.
How often do we regret the way we respond to people around us? We get easily agitated. Irritated. We wonder how ignorant other people can be. And then when we stop to think our perspective changes.
How often when we drive down the road do we come close to having an accident? Why is that? The news these days mentions lots of incidences of distracted driving due to cellphone use. Quite frankly there are many things in life that become distracting.
We take so many things for granted. We say things on the spur of the moment without realizing the consequences. We act or react without realizing the consequences of our action. We do not stop to think.
People tell me, and I must agree, watching golf on TV can be very tedious. Why is that? Most of the time the player is assessing the shot. Which way is the wind blowing? What club should I use? Where is the best miss? What if? What if? What if? Happened to me last night. Approached the game with positive thoughts. Stood on the first tee box and envisioned a great game. Had my usual club in hand. The starter told us the yardage to my target. Did I listen? No. Did things go wrong? Yes. Found the ball today when I mowed my grass. That is the good news. You don’t want to hear the bad news.
I commiserated today that things could have gone better. If only I would have listened to the starter. If only I had reconsidered my club selection. If only I would have checked the wind direction. If only I would have stopped and thought about it.
So too is life. We run into scenarios where we act without thinking. We get caught up in the moment. We don’t take the time to think and plan. How many times do we look back with regret because we know things could have turned out differently if only we had planned better? I know I do.
Take the time to plan ahead. Are there any guarantees that life will always be fair, that things will always turn out well? No. But perhaps if we pause, if we take the time to think, if we plan ahead we may have fewer regrets. We may be more positive about the outcome of events in our lives. We may score better. I can only hope. Make it a good one.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
World Peace
For some strange reason the words World Peace came to mind. I am reminded, and not quite sure why, of beauty pageants where contestants talk about world peace. The desire to have world peace. Not that I watch beauty pageants. Perhaps I have heard it in another context. Not sure. For what I am about to say it really doesn’t matter.
Conflict has been and continues to play a significant role in life. In a global sense we watch as countries seek to find dominance in some way shape or form. We have the conflict involving Israel/Palestine. We have increased conflict in Iraq. Syria continues to make headlines. North Korea every so often raises its head. In Africa. In South America. Hardly a day goes by that we don’t learn of new conflict.
Closer to home we find conflict in how the flood is or isn’t being handled in the proper way. We hear of how people, not in power, criticize how issues are being dealt with. From the increase in provincial sales tax to the upkeep in streets. From municipal taxes for community centres to drainage regulations or the lack there of.
In our personal lives we see conflict happen with relationships. Parents running into problems with kids. Kids having problems with parents. Brothers and sisters fighting. Family members not getting along. Marriages breaking up. A debate over same sex relationships. Infighting in churches. Communities. The list becomes endless.
Even in moments of leisure we get involved in certain conflicts. GO BOMBERS. Will leave that one for the time being. Admit it. There are times when you watch hockey you find yourself hoping for a fight and when it happens you find yourself cheering. For one side or the other.
So I try to keep up with news. I like to know what is going on. However it seems that whichever news source I see there tends to be a certain political tilt to it. And I use the word tilt quite loosely. I check Facebook regularly and find people jumping on certain issues quite freely. They choose sides. I find that rather troublesome.
Perhaps it is my work. Trying to find solutions during the day and creating conflict at night. Oops. That is not what I meant, although my wife would be in full agreement with that sentence. Have you ever taken a moment to analyze what happens when you choose sides? Based on my experience one’s view becomes jaded. Obviously it would. In that moment of choosing sides we lose the ability to recognize, understand what the other side is all about. The natural response is to become consumed with all that is wrong. The injustices. It has the ability to blind us to the big picture. In fact, it can breed further hostilities.
So if you really want one side to win keep cheering for them. Extoll their virtues. (GO BOMBERS) But if we really want world peace, to stop the injustice, to stop the murder of innocent women, children and men, we need to take a different approach. Here is a novel idea. Instead of taking sides, instead of condemning the side we don’t agree with, take it upon yourself to embrace the side you love, agree with or are siding with. And in that embrace suggest to them that should they hold back, should they cease and desist, perhaps we can find an end to the conflict. Perhaps we can find peace. World peace. Make it a good one.
Conflict has been and continues to play a significant role in life. In a global sense we watch as countries seek to find dominance in some way shape or form. We have the conflict involving Israel/Palestine. We have increased conflict in Iraq. Syria continues to make headlines. North Korea every so often raises its head. In Africa. In South America. Hardly a day goes by that we don’t learn of new conflict.
Closer to home we find conflict in how the flood is or isn’t being handled in the proper way. We hear of how people, not in power, criticize how issues are being dealt with. From the increase in provincial sales tax to the upkeep in streets. From municipal taxes for community centres to drainage regulations or the lack there of.
In our personal lives we see conflict happen with relationships. Parents running into problems with kids. Kids having problems with parents. Brothers and sisters fighting. Family members not getting along. Marriages breaking up. A debate over same sex relationships. Infighting in churches. Communities. The list becomes endless.
Even in moments of leisure we get involved in certain conflicts. GO BOMBERS. Will leave that one for the time being. Admit it. There are times when you watch hockey you find yourself hoping for a fight and when it happens you find yourself cheering. For one side or the other.
So I try to keep up with news. I like to know what is going on. However it seems that whichever news source I see there tends to be a certain political tilt to it. And I use the word tilt quite loosely. I check Facebook regularly and find people jumping on certain issues quite freely. They choose sides. I find that rather troublesome.
Perhaps it is my work. Trying to find solutions during the day and creating conflict at night. Oops. That is not what I meant, although my wife would be in full agreement with that sentence. Have you ever taken a moment to analyze what happens when you choose sides? Based on my experience one’s view becomes jaded. Obviously it would. In that moment of choosing sides we lose the ability to recognize, understand what the other side is all about. The natural response is to become consumed with all that is wrong. The injustices. It has the ability to blind us to the big picture. In fact, it can breed further hostilities.
So if you really want one side to win keep cheering for them. Extoll their virtues. (GO BOMBERS) But if we really want world peace, to stop the injustice, to stop the murder of innocent women, children and men, we need to take a different approach. Here is a novel idea. Instead of taking sides, instead of condemning the side we don’t agree with, take it upon yourself to embrace the side you love, agree with or are siding with. And in that embrace suggest to them that should they hold back, should they cease and desist, perhaps we can find an end to the conflict. Perhaps we can find peace. World peace. Make it a good one.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
What’s That Sound
Mosquitos. Mosquitos have invaded Manitoba with a vengeance. Just last week I suggested to someone that it wasn’t too bad. That has changed. They are plentiful. They are big. They are vicious. A generous coating of Deep Woods Off lasts but a short while and then you have to spray yourself again. This is when stories are told of what the best way is to ward off this pesky insect. Some sound strange but I suppose I should not knock it till I’ve tried it.
I went golfing with my son last week. As we walked out the door my wife suggested to us that putting a Bounce dryer sheet in our pocket would do the trick. My son held up a small bottle of peppermint oil and stated that was all he needed. At the time I was not quite sure what he expected to do with it. Both ideas made me chuckle. Old wives tales perhaps? After all, I had my trusty can of Off in my golf bag.
Not long after we started the game I was hit by the aroma, and I use that term loosely as it was more of a stench, of peppermint oil. I noticed my son dabbing it on his arms. Seemed to work for him. Or for the mosquitos. Not sure. Made me think that perhaps I should try the Bounce dryer sheet. No harm in trying. Just make sure I have the spray can handy. You never know.
A few weeks ago I attended a workshop on Understanding Mental Illness. During that workshop there was significant discussion on how people have various levels of tolerance when it comes to stress in their lives. Sometimes the problems we hear about seem minor and yet they can have a devastating effect on the person’s life. Someone suggested that if we ever think that small things can’t drive us crazy we should try being locked up in a dark room with one mosquito. I get that. Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, in the dark, and you hear a mosquito? It is truly scary. Then you realize that hearing it is better than the alternative. Because when you don’t hear it, it means it has landed and is surely biting you. But where? It creates anxiety.
So it goes with real life issues as well. In many situations it is not one small issue that brings on anxiety or depression. Often times it is a culmination of events. However, a seemingly benign matter can push us over the edge. And then like the single mosquito in a dark room we begin to worry about what will happen. We become spooked. We lose our ability to cope. It gets to the point where we are afraid of being afraid. And as those fears, the anxiety sets in we become debilitated. We lose the ability to function. We lose hope.
There are times, and I speak from experience, where we need to step back. Reassess. Do an inventory. Come to a better understanding of what it is that is creating dysfunction. Deal with the stuff we are able to. I keep being reminded of the Serenity prayer. Need to have the wisdom to distinguish between what I can change and what I cannot do anything about. On top of all that be kind to yourself. Extend to yourself the same compassion you feel for others. And repeat after me; “May my heart be filled with loving kindness. May I be safe. May I be healthy in mind and body. May I be happy, truly happy. May I live my life with ease.” (Taken from Klinic’s brochure on self-compassion.)
As for the mosquitos? Avoid areas where they are at their worst. Do what you can to protect yourself whether that is peppermint oil, Bounce sheets, or spray. And then enjoy what is left of summer. Because as sure as day follows night winter is coming.(In stress management lingo that means one should avoid stressors as best possible, use available tools to cope with the stress that hangs around because we all know that life will throw more at us.) Make it a good one.
I went golfing with my son last week. As we walked out the door my wife suggested to us that putting a Bounce dryer sheet in our pocket would do the trick. My son held up a small bottle of peppermint oil and stated that was all he needed. At the time I was not quite sure what he expected to do with it. Both ideas made me chuckle. Old wives tales perhaps? After all, I had my trusty can of Off in my golf bag.
Not long after we started the game I was hit by the aroma, and I use that term loosely as it was more of a stench, of peppermint oil. I noticed my son dabbing it on his arms. Seemed to work for him. Or for the mosquitos. Not sure. Made me think that perhaps I should try the Bounce dryer sheet. No harm in trying. Just make sure I have the spray can handy. You never know.
A few weeks ago I attended a workshop on Understanding Mental Illness. During that workshop there was significant discussion on how people have various levels of tolerance when it comes to stress in their lives. Sometimes the problems we hear about seem minor and yet they can have a devastating effect on the person’s life. Someone suggested that if we ever think that small things can’t drive us crazy we should try being locked up in a dark room with one mosquito. I get that. Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, in the dark, and you hear a mosquito? It is truly scary. Then you realize that hearing it is better than the alternative. Because when you don’t hear it, it means it has landed and is surely biting you. But where? It creates anxiety.
So it goes with real life issues as well. In many situations it is not one small issue that brings on anxiety or depression. Often times it is a culmination of events. However, a seemingly benign matter can push us over the edge. And then like the single mosquito in a dark room we begin to worry about what will happen. We become spooked. We lose our ability to cope. It gets to the point where we are afraid of being afraid. And as those fears, the anxiety sets in we become debilitated. We lose the ability to function. We lose hope.
There are times, and I speak from experience, where we need to step back. Reassess. Do an inventory. Come to a better understanding of what it is that is creating dysfunction. Deal with the stuff we are able to. I keep being reminded of the Serenity prayer. Need to have the wisdom to distinguish between what I can change and what I cannot do anything about. On top of all that be kind to yourself. Extend to yourself the same compassion you feel for others. And repeat after me; “May my heart be filled with loving kindness. May I be safe. May I be healthy in mind and body. May I be happy, truly happy. May I live my life with ease.” (Taken from Klinic’s brochure on self-compassion.)
As for the mosquitos? Avoid areas where they are at their worst. Do what you can to protect yourself whether that is peppermint oil, Bounce sheets, or spray. And then enjoy what is left of summer. Because as sure as day follows night winter is coming.(In stress management lingo that means one should avoid stressors as best possible, use available tools to cope with the stress that hangs around because we all know that life will throw more at us.) Make it a good one.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Practicing Mindfulness
Will it ever stop raining? This morning someone texted “it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, blah, blah, blah”. Based on my calculations I think that means a few more days of this. I hope not. A few months ago it was quite foggy. I remember telling some people that they could rest assured it would rain in 100 days from that foggy day. Quite frankly I had forgotten about that till a colleague reminded me about it. She had counted out the days and marked it on the calendar. The date happened to be June 28. I chuckled when I saw her earlier this week. She gave me “that” look. You see, June 28 was this last Saturday. Did it rain? Don’t answer that. That was a rhetorical question. It absolutely poured. Perhaps that lends some credence to what are commonly known as old wives tales.
I know in my selfish mind all I worry about is the fact that I can’t golf when the weather is this nasty. I suspect that there are many who would be happy if that was their only issue. The reports I have heard on rainfall amounts, the pictures I have seen of the damage done, is mind boggling. Not something seen in this part of the world on a normal basis.
First we had a record breaking winter. Cold, windy and lots of snow. It did not want to end. Then when it finally released its grip we end up with a summer that is anything but summer. Add to that all the rain we have had and you have a significant period of time where people simply have not had any reprieve from miserable weather. That has the potential to alter moods. Make people less friendly. Grumpy. Angry even.
Perhaps it is time to utilize some mindfulness techniques. I took a workshop last week that focused on mindfulness and the positive effect it can have on people who practice it. I even learned some new techniques. I know it can work. We all know that negative events, negative thoughts, resentment of past experiences, or worries of the future can have significant impacts on our mental health. The weather over the last number of months adds to that.
Studies have shown that at the very core of our well-being, physical and mental, we have the ability to regulate the body. This regulation assists in dealing with the over whelming stress we often feel and through that maintain a sense of balance. There are many benefits of mindfulness. It provides a self-awareness. It boosts the immune system and increases physical healing. It decreases time spent in rumination. It provides for a more positive emotional state. It improves relationships. It lessens anxiety and depression. It increases empathy. It decreases chronic pain. The list goes on. (Information taken from the training manual Mindfulness Counselling Strategies from the Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute)
When you see that list I am betting you see something in there that you wish for. Regardless of our level of pain, stress or anxiety, most of us, at some point in time, wish for relief. Wish for an improved life. A balance. Try mindfulness. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results. Through experience I know it works. The workshop provided further tools and applications that I can use in my life. Now if you find yourself passing by my place and you see me doing some weird physical exercise don’t laugh. Stop in and I will show you how this can be beneficial for your life. Trust me. It works. Make it a good one.
I know in my selfish mind all I worry about is the fact that I can’t golf when the weather is this nasty. I suspect that there are many who would be happy if that was their only issue. The reports I have heard on rainfall amounts, the pictures I have seen of the damage done, is mind boggling. Not something seen in this part of the world on a normal basis.
First we had a record breaking winter. Cold, windy and lots of snow. It did not want to end. Then when it finally released its grip we end up with a summer that is anything but summer. Add to that all the rain we have had and you have a significant period of time where people simply have not had any reprieve from miserable weather. That has the potential to alter moods. Make people less friendly. Grumpy. Angry even.
Perhaps it is time to utilize some mindfulness techniques. I took a workshop last week that focused on mindfulness and the positive effect it can have on people who practice it. I even learned some new techniques. I know it can work. We all know that negative events, negative thoughts, resentment of past experiences, or worries of the future can have significant impacts on our mental health. The weather over the last number of months adds to that.
Studies have shown that at the very core of our well-being, physical and mental, we have the ability to regulate the body. This regulation assists in dealing with the over whelming stress we often feel and through that maintain a sense of balance. There are many benefits of mindfulness. It provides a self-awareness. It boosts the immune system and increases physical healing. It decreases time spent in rumination. It provides for a more positive emotional state. It improves relationships. It lessens anxiety and depression. It increases empathy. It decreases chronic pain. The list goes on. (Information taken from the training manual Mindfulness Counselling Strategies from the Crisis and Trauma Resource Institute)
When you see that list I am betting you see something in there that you wish for. Regardless of our level of pain, stress or anxiety, most of us, at some point in time, wish for relief. Wish for an improved life. A balance. Try mindfulness. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results. Through experience I know it works. The workshop provided further tools and applications that I can use in my life. Now if you find yourself passing by my place and you see me doing some weird physical exercise don’t laugh. Stop in and I will show you how this can be beneficial for your life. Trust me. It works. Make it a good one.
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