The Recovering Farmer

Friday, August 13, 2010

One Person's Journey

Anxiety is an interesting emotion that all of us will experience, some more than others. Anxious thoughts usually end in some sort of disaster. Someone walked into my office yesterday, (first walk in I had in my new digs) and accused me of backing into her car. I suppose being the owner of a maroon car has its liabilities. Needless to say I felt violated by being accused of something I had not done. One thought led to another and in no time I had visions of the police showing up at the door. One scenario even had me being led out of the office in hand cuffs. Sounds funny to some of you but that is a simple example of the way anxiety can grab hold of and control a person, if not reigned in.

The following words were written by someone very close to me. It was painful to watch this person battle the onslaught of anxiety. It caused anxiety in me to watch and yet I knew that words alone could not help this individual. It required a combination of medication, close friends and a pile of self therapy. It encourages me on my journey to watch and learn from others.

“A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with an anxiety problem. I have been fighting for my personal autonomy ever since. These are my thoughts:
Never has taking baby steps felt so much like taking giant leaps.
After trudging for days I can still see my starting footprints lying right behind me.
Yet every mile I push, that’s another two inches of bullshit I can leave behind forever.
Sure life can keep throwing left hooks at me,
but every time life knocks me down, that means I can get back up.
There aint no better feeling than that.
Bring it on life, I will not let my scars remain wounds!”

Similar to the words above someone once said that “scars remind us of where we have been but do not have to dictate where we are going”. If you are someone that is suffering from stress, anxiety or are debilitated by depression I would challenge you to take that first step to a brighter future. Lean on your supports, whoever they may be. Talking about it does help and if you are lacking a confidant in your life call the Manitoba Farm and Rural Stress Line or the Manitoba Crisis Line. There are always counselors on hand that can help you on the road to recovery. Make it a good one.

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