The Recovering Farmer

Thursday, July 28, 2011

What Might Have Been

For those of you that follow my blog you know this one is somewhat tardy. When I initially started this project I enthusiastically set a goal of writing one blog per week. It did not take long to realize that writing something reasonably intelligent, on a weekly basis, would be a challenge. Well, here I am thirteen months later still coming up with little stories that, I hope, at a minimum, provide some entertainment for you, or perhaps put a smile on your face, or give you a better understanding of who you are through someone else’s experiences. I have an excuse for being late with this one. I was on holidays. You heard right. Holidays. Two and a half days. Spent my time golfing and engaging in good conversation with a good friend, I will talk about that some other time.

Remember how I was tooting my horn, patting myself on the back, talking streak. I am referring to winning two in a row against that certain left hander. If I write about him too often I will have to give him a different name. Hmmmmm. Wonder what that name could be. The first few that come to mind should probably not be printed in this forum. Okay. I will leave that one alone for now. I am sure by now you have figured out that I lost to him last week. I buckled. Snapped like a dry twig. Broke under pressure. I lost. So now I need to grovel. Not sure why. I win approximately 7.3417%, give or take 1%, games against the guy. (about the same win percentage I have with Spider Solitaire) But I did lose.

So what now? After being convinced that I was on the right path I seemed to have lost my way. In a flash I am filled with doubts. I am afraid I am slipping back into that abyss filled with double bogies, three putt greens, and duck hooks. Enough to give me nightmares.

Reminds me of life. I have talked previously of getting hit by a storm, being in the foggy middle and finally getting on firm ground. Often times when we have experienced a crisis in our lives and feel that the worst is over something pops up and sets us back. We panic. We doubt ourselves. We are afraid. We remember some of those dark moments that we hoped had been forgotten. So what do we do? Do we allow ourselves to be consumed about what might have been? Seems that is one of my biggest weaknesses. Instead of pushing on, “getting back on the horse”, and just simply moving on, I find myself questioning and analyzing what might have been.

So here goes. I will move on. I will win again. Remember the old adage, “scars remind us where we have been but they don’t have to dictate where we are going”. I know it is within me to play a better game than I did last week. My golfing buddy is on holidays next week. There will be a couple of matches. I need to sharpen my game. Kids are coming home this weekend. They want to golf. Perhaps a few rounds will help me understand what went wrong. Then I can be ready for the next big one. Here’s hoping. And if not, at least I will have some fun. Make it a good one.

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