The Recovering Farmer

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Here Comes Santa Claus

I have a problem. A serious problem. Something that I remember happening in the past. But that was years ago. I don’t know how it happened now. I don’t know how to deal with it. My life has changed. I need to work my way through this. I may need professional help. I always challenge people to seek help when they are struggling. To seek their supports. I am not sure that I can share this with anyone. It is truly traumatic. Just putting these thoughts into words is upsetting. How will people react? What will my kids think? My poor wife?

Speaking about my wife. We celebrated our 3oth wedding anniversary this week. Okay, I admit, we did not celebrate. It was more of an acknowledgement. 30 years. That’s an awfully long time. I have been married, to the same woman, for over half my life. Not that being married to the same woman is surprising, but rather that she has stuck with me. But there was one reason to celebrate. I bought flowers. When I mentioned to my colleagues during the day that it was our anniversary, flowers seemed to be a common theme. Of course my colleagues are women so what else would I hear, right? I am not the mushy type. Never been much of a romantic. Never sensed that my wife really appreciated flowers. However, on my way out of Brandon, I made the decision. I would step outside of the norm. I would buy flowers. The challenge then became what to buy. The woman at the flower shop gave me a real strange look when I said I needed to buy flowers for our anniversary but I had no idea what I wanted. Only knew I didn’t want to spend too much. Bottom line? I bought flowers, they look awesome, (a dozen white roses) and my wife liked them.

Back to my real problem. I need to talk about it. So here goes. But wait. You need to promise you won’t laugh. This is embarrassing. Could come back to haunt me. Perhaps if I try to ignore it for a day or two it will go away. Actually I have tried that and it didn’t work. Okay, here it is. I have the Christmas spirit. You heard right. The Christmas spirit. No idea where it came from. No idea what it wants. No idea how to handle this. I have this urge to listen to Christmas songs. I actually have walked through a few stores and thought about what kind of gifts to buy. Made up my mind I was going to buy my wife a gift. Now before you go thinking I that I have been a scrooge in the past, my wife and I always buy something together. It has always been the easy way out for me. But not this year. I want to surprise her. I am looking forward to having the kids at home. Spend time together. Play some games (only ones I can cheat at, of course). Eat too much food. Listen to music. Sing. (I suspect when my wife reads this she will put a freeze on the bank account) Even switched to the Country Music channel last night to watch a Christmas special.

So there you have it. The Christmas spirit. Who would have thought it. It is scary but I am going to deal with it. Having talked about it helps. Here is hoping you get a taste of it as well. It feels good. Oh, and by the way, speaking of half my life, I have a birthday happening between now and Christmas. Let me know if you need an address to send the gifts to. Make it a good one.

No comments:

Post a Comment