Out of the Closet

Okay. Here goes. Hang on to your hats. I am about to make an admission. This comes during an afternoon of trying REALLY hard to throw a birthday party for my dear wife. Not a big event. There will be approximately eight of us. Wow. What a lot of work. Just deciding on what kind of pizza I wanted was tough. Who knew? You now have three choices. Simple question. What is normal. I suppose I don’t do this enough.

Back to my admission. Midafternoon. I am weary. This birthday party thing is hard. One of the kids suggested an ice cream cake from DQ. Hey. I like that idea. Went to pick it up after I had ordered three pizzas with a normal, make that regular crust. Now the pressure is on. I will buy the cake, pick up the pizza, buy some beer or wine, and make it home before the cake melts. Tough job. But someone has to do it. Made it. Now to sit and wait. Probably did not order the right kind of pizza. I don’t care. I am hungry.

As I sit and wait I do the usual. Grab my laptop, check headlines. See if someone tried to contact me with skype, and then may play some solitaire. Solitaire is an interesting game. Totally mindless. Helps pass the time. Here is a warning. If you need to pass time by playing solitaire you need therapy. I know. I do.

I check the Winnipeg Sun. The usual gobbledegook about the Bombers. Isn’t that a gong show. Some other stories that involve either sex or violence. Big cocaine bust in Head. . . . Will you look at this. OMG. (sorry, this may become ugly) There is a report on a wrestler who has admitted to being gay. Can you imagine? Gay. God forbid.

Are you serious? In 2013 there are news headlines about someone being gay? Why? It makes no difference to me what side of the fence you may be on. It matters not to me what you may believe. I just cannot quite grasp the fact that being gay is noteworthy. I wish I had the space to tell you a story or two. I probably do. After all there is no limit to my space. Rather I will tell you someday when you may meet me. My stories make for good conversation pieces. (my wife may not agree)

Okay. Here is an admission. I am coming out of the closet. I am not gay. I am waiting? Did that make the headlines? No? What a relief. Not sure I want anybody to know.

It would seem to me that in this world of violence, homelessness, riots, war, child poverty, and many other deplorable and horrible crimes against humanity we would not become consumed by someone’s sexual preference. I find that incredibly sad.

Someone, who may or may not want to be acknowledged, sent me some information the other day. Him being a wise, biblical scholar type, must surely be telling the truth. He informed me that being gay and smoking pot is quite biblical. Apparently it says in Leviticus, a book in the Old Testament, that when a man lays with another man he should be stoned. That is what I am going with. I may be in the market. For pot, that is. Make it a good one.