The Recovering Farmer

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Just the Dreamer

In the past I wrote a piece about dreams never dying. In fact, called it Dreams Never Die. Was going to use that title but found out quick enough that I had been there. Perhaps that in itself is a clue of what goes on in my life. A clue to the dreams I have. Dreams that are enough to befuddle most dream experts. Although, truth be told, I never have checked. Call it a gut instinct. Although if I go back to my Sunday school days I recall the story of Joseph and how he got his butt out of a lot of trouble by interpreting dreams. Makes me wonder. Is there a Joseph type around? Then again, not sure I want to know what most of my dreams really mean.

Yesterday morning I woke from a good night’s sleep feeling particularly anxious. I vividly recalled a dream I had just had. That in itself is a good sign. I have been told that if you dream AND remember your dreams means you are not depressed. Perfect. I don’t want to be depressed. The anxiety was a concern. If I recall correctly a doctor once prescribed anti-depressants because I was having anxiety issues. So how is it that I am feeling anxious but because I remember my dream I am not depressed but the dream causes anxiety and therefore I need anti-depressants? Sounds like a conundrum to me.

The last dream of the night was one where we had to buy back the farm because the people that had bought it changed their mind and did not want it anymore. In the mean time I needed to load pigs to market them as I was depopulating the barn but my brother had taken the truck so I couldn’t hook up the trailer. And I knew that the pigs were to light and would not garner the kind of money I needed. In the meantime I was showing the farm to another interested party but at the same time I had to load turkeys which had been injured when they were chased over a barb wire fence which was discovered when the people interested in buying the farm wanted to see the valley behind the barns. Are you surprised I felt anxious? Actually my kids interpreted that dream for me. They said that was exactly what always happened at the farm. Is it that simple? You should hear about the dream I had the following night.

Here we are beginning a new year. What has changed? On the news last night they reported that only 16% of respondents to their survey had made New Year’s resolutions. I thought that was the best news I had heard in a long time. I remember making New Year’s resolutions. I remember most of them failing within the first day or two. Why is that? We begin a new year but that is about all that is new. The rest is the same old, same old. So it is tough to let go of old habits. Particularly when you need those habits just to survive this time of year.

Okay. I may be overstating the depths of misery that this time of year can bring. But really. Look out the window. Sure, for one day we are having a reprieve from the arctic air mass that has hovered over us for approximately as (insert bad word (s)) long as I can remember. With that we are getting snow and wind. And then back to the deep freeze. Our December was the second coldest December on record. What ever happened to global warming? Oh. I know. The scientists studying it got caught in an ice jam. So much for global warming. Whatever.

My wife tells me I need to let go of the farm. That way I might quit dreaming about it. Let go? I thought I did that a long time ago. Perhaps I also need to “let go” of this miserable winter weather. Then when I let go of everything that seems to bother me my life will be full of sunshine, warmth and rainbows. Sounds appealing. I will work on that. Make it a good one.

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