The Recovering Farmer

Thursday, February 26, 2015

I Don’t Get It.

I know. I went to Mexico to fill my emotional gas tank. Somehow the leak I had sprung was not fixed and here I am out of gas. May sound unique to some. Hear me out. Many years ago I recall my father driving over a bridge to fast which meant the car bottomed out which meant the gas tank landed firmly on the gravel which meant we sprung a leak. Based on that it really did not matter how much gas was in the tank because it was dripping out faster than any remedy we could find at the time.

You see, back in those days should you have a bar of soap handy the problem could be fixed. Small hole in the tank, rub it with soap and we are good to go. No idea how long it would last. But it worked. In later years I worked for a building mover, and you may not believe this, but we used soap to slide houses onto their foundation. Really. But it had to be Ivory.

Came back from our vacation feeling rejuvenated. Thought I could carry on. And as much as I remember and fondly recall our vacation it seems to have gone. Just like my tan. Seems like my emotional gas tank had a hole in it that could not be plugged. Nothing worked. Came back to reality to find that reality really sucks. Been involved with some medical appointments this week to ensure that life will carry on. (That was said with my tongue firmly in my cheek)

Today I did have a dental appointment set. All morning I was trying to figure out how to cancel that. For some reason dental appointments send the fear of God through me. Today was no different. As it turns out the dentist had a family situation to deal with which left me the option of “woo hoo”, no needles, I AM OUTTA HERE.

Gave me the opportunity to have coffee/lunch with my daughter. After all she would have been the assistant in whatever pain needed to be dealt with today. And if there is no pain they do find a way to create pain. Sorry. There is my cynical part coming out again. Happens occasionally.

She noticed that my mood was off. And it has been. But today was worse. Right from when I got up this morning I noticed a news story developing that tore at my very being. Four kids dead. Three saved. It does not matter which way you slice or dice this story. It is unfathomable. Hard to grasp. How could anyone deal with such a tragedy?

So I don’t get it. Life does throw us curve balls. Most of them I do gain an understanding for. Others not so much. How anyone could come to grips with four kids succumbing in this horrific event is beyond me. How anyone can even try to comprehend what the parents have and will be going through in this tragedy can and will not ever be understood.

As suggested last week a story such as this should provide encouragement to someone like me who really has no problems except for a screwed up brain. And perhaps it will. May take some time. (Just read that within two years people will be able to get head transplants. For a mere 13 million dollars. Perhaps I need to start buying lottery tickets.) And we know that come tomorrow a different headline, someone else’s story, or a stubbed toe will become the flavor of the day. I will get past this. The family coming to grips with losing four siblings will deal with this for years to come. Here is wishing them well. Here is wishing them a good one.

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