I Am Not Dead, Yet

 

A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from someone I used to work with occasionally, chatted with about our individual challenges in navigating life, and someone who reads the stuff I write. We caught up on work, some new stuff happening in the world of agriculture, and the ongoing challenges of farming. Towards the end of our conversation, he finally came out with it. He said he had been looking for new blogs but there were none. So, he had to check to see if I was dead. I assured him I wasn’t dead. Yet.

Perhaps I have been experiencing writer’s block. Although I have no idea what that means, it does sound better than saying I am brain dead. Perhaps it’s the pandemic. Everything else is being blamed on it so why not. It’s been eighteen months since this strange, diabolical virus wreaked havoc on everyone, except, of course, those that don’t believe in it, but that’s another whole story.

This last week my brother, who is significantly older than me, came up with an idea. His goal was to write a thousand words a day until he dies, which is twenty years if he meets his expectations. That got me thinking. As writing has always helped my mental health, and I have not been writing for months, and my mental health seems to be deteriorating, I suggested to him that I would join him on his quest with a few modifications. My expectations for my life expectancy is somewhat lower than his and I will limit my writings to six hundred words per day. Seems that that is the limit to my attention span. (If readers take note my blogs for the most part have been right around that)

As I looked back to my last blog, I see some irony here. It is titled Never Stop Talking About It. Well, it seems, I did stop talking about it. And as I reflect more on my life since January of this year, I sense a correlating issue. I stopped talking about it and my mental health has suffered because of it.

As I look back a little further, I see another blog I wrote called Adding To The Noise. A challenge, of sorts, to be cognizant of over exposure to social media and news. Be aware of the negative effect this barrage of information can have on our mental health.

I have a hunch that one of the reasons I have been less than motivated to write is because I don’t practice what I preach. Between the upcoming federal election and the ongoing debacle of the pandemic the information out there is mind boggling. It literally gives me a headache. For no specific reason I seem to be drawn to ongoing debates about various issues. But then I find my equanimity disappear real quick.

It seems that our world is becoming more and more divided. I see family relationships being broken. I see a lot of anger from all sides, and sometimes there are more than two sides, causing division. I can’t help but wonder where it will end.

I suppose as a mediator I should have some sage advice on this. But I don’t. Perhaps that is a sign that I am too opinionated as well. It was Bertrand Russel that said; “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves and wiser people are so full of doubt”. Hopefully I can find a way to be wiser, to understand all sides of the debate and to engage in meaningful dialogue. Because, quite frankly, that is the only way. Make it a good one.