The Recovering Farmer

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Better Half, REALLY

Remember the quote from last week about relationships? Let me remind you. Relationships provide us with identity, purpose and direction. In essence, relationships and therefore community is a life giving, life defining, life nurturing process. Just this morning, watching news, while enjoying my first cup of coffee for the day, heard about research that was done showing that having solid relationships can increase your life by 50%. Quite astounding actually.

I was reminded again, this week, of the important role women have in a man’s life. If you recall, I mentioned in my last blog that women often hold down three jobs. If you forgot let me remind you. First and foremost many women are mothers and the energy and wisdom it takes to raise kids is incredible. Secondly, many hold down an off farm job. And then, after all is said and done, they cook and clean and do laundry. After that they head out and help their partners with farm work. Wait a minute. That is four jobs and I have probably missed some. Each year, during harvest, I see my neighbor’s wife bring supper to the field. Always, and I mean always, it’s a full course supper. Good for him. Good for them. I recall when my mother would bring meals to the field. Those meals usually consisted of soggy tomato sandwiches. Scarred me for life. Just in the last few years I have been able to again appreciate tomato sandwiches.

Read an interesting article today about research that was done in western Canada dealing with women on the farm. The researcher suggested that early in her research she had come to the realization that women were holding the farms together. Far too often I found myself getting immersed in farm work and did not appreciate enough the work that my wife was doing in “keeping the family together”. Far too often it was taken for granted. I am very thankful when I now observe my kids and see how they have grown and developed into responsible adults that someone was there for them when I was to busy doing what I was doing. Not going to get into what I was doing because that would be enough material for a book.

So guys, I know you are all busy now but when things slow down for you this fall and early winter take the time to show your appreciation to your better half. Work on those relationships. Remember, it could increase your life expectancy. Make it a good one.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Gerry,

    A fabulous article about the role(s) women play in the relationship and farm business. And I especially like your closing comments for men to take the time to appreciate their mate.

    I'd like to take that a step further and challenge the guys to stop right now and practice that appreciation.

    Waiting until things slow down may mean it never happens. It can be so easy to get caught up in the work that seems to be important, but forget to do the work that is vitally critical to creating success and happiness.

    There is nothing more powerful and creative than having a grounded, respectful, trustful, and loving relationship with a partner. The quality of that relationship affects everything - every other aspect of life, financially, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually.

    It is said about trees that there are 2 best times to plant a tree; 20 years ago or right now. Similarly there are 2 best times to show real appreciation to our partner; 20 years ago or right now.

    So guys, stop right now and call your better-half on your cell. Tell how much you love her and appreciate her. Stop right now, before wolfing down that meal, look her in the eyes and give her a genuine hug. Stop right now and listen intently to her when she speaks, without judging, arguing, or defending - just listen to understand.

    Stop now and do it - there is no better time.

    Keep up the great work, Gerry. You're changing the world.