The Recovering Farmer

Friday, November 12, 2010

Understanding Others

When I look around I am frequently reminded of how our world has become so much bigger than it used to be. Now, I realize this may age me just a wee bit, but remember when your circle of friends was made up of local kids. Now with ever changing ways of communicating we have friends from all over the world. I need to note here that many forms of communication do not enhance relationships but we will leave that for another day. As we spend more and more time communicating we need to also become more aware of our communication methods. Even something as simple as buying a new product can become an exercise in futility if something goes wrong.

I am trying to help my daughter deal with a situation that requires time and a whole lot of patience. It would seem to be a no-brainer that when you buy a phone and it does not work that you would get a new phone. Not so. Buyer beware. Inventories are low. Here is a refurbished replacement. Excuse me. I bought a new phone and now have to settle for a slightly used, refurbished one? So guess what? Father can fix this. Well, after numerous phone calls I am becoming quite frustrated myself. My mediation skills have left me. Anger and frustration have set in. What now?

Take a deep breath. Think about the quote you saw last week. Remind me. Okay, here it is. “We should always assume that each person is doing the best they can do at the moment. Regardless how stupidly, inadequately, ineptly, stubbornly, and defensively the other person is behaving. They may be lacking skill or defending themselves.” All right. I need to refocus. Change my tactics. Move from judgment to curiosity. I need to remember that the best communicators listen more than they talk. I will change my approach. Hopefully I can get something done about this because I need to move on and deal with another crisis. Again, something that seems so simple to me. This situation involves a lawyer. Hmmmm. This could be fun. I will end this with the same prayer I finished off with last week.“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.” Make it a good one.

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