The Recovering Farmer

Friday, November 19, 2010

Winter, Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well, here it is again. Were we not just here? Where did the summer go? And to think. It is not even cold yet. Hey, just think. Only five more months of shivering. Never knowing whether you will ever warm up again. Leaving home while it is dark and not getting home till after dark. Who really knows what the outside of our home looks like. Then again, who cares. It’s white and it’s cold. The good news is that in just over a month the days start getting longer. What an event to look forward to.

As with the seasons my mood seems to have changed as well. Happiness seems to be eluding me. I have difficulties concentrating on work. I have a lack of motivation. My emotional tank is empty. More darkness than light. Somewhat like the days during this time of year.

But why? I thought I had this licked. Things were looking up. So what does this mean? Meds again? Hope not. For awhile I thought I could work my way out of this. But that is not happening. Seems to be getting worse. I feel irritable. I am easily angered. My wife says I am always aggravated. Felt like I have a vice slowly squeezing the life out of my brain. The more I think about it the worse it gets. I knew I would have to be proactive about it. Practice what I preach. After all, I know what resources are available.

Finally, with encouragement from a friend and colleague, I called a professional and set up an appointment. The strangest thing. I began to feel better right away. Almost tempted to cancel the appointment. However, I am curious what kind of advice I can get for future reference. Also bought a book on Mindfulness. Not finished it yet but based on what I have read seems they are writing about me. Hmmmm. That tells me there are others feeling the same way. That means I am not alone. That means there is help.

I tell people that talking helps. Understanding yourself also helps. Hopefully I can get this beast turned around so that time with family and friends at Christmas will be a happy time. Reinforces my message. There is help and there is hope. Check out for helpful tips on mindfulness. Make it a good one.

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