The Recovering Farmer

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Runaway Thoughts

As mentioned previously, we are experiencing real change in our lives. Selling a house and buying a house can be a daunting task. Somehow things have worked out really well for us. Our house sold quicker than we had expected plus we were able to purchase a house that really meets our needs in a community that we have always liked. Trust me, the fact that the house is situated on the first fairway of a nice golf course is purely coincidental. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. Now that we have moved I am finding the time to reflect on all these changes.

As the sale of our house was being finalized and we were negotiating the purchase of a house, I was trying desperately to carry on with my work. It so happened that I spent a lot of time in Winnipeg and so evenings were spent conversing with agents, advisers and my wife via telephone. Not the best way to finalize deals. I found it interesting that as I was feeling the stress of having to make some major decisions I was having flashbacks to the issues I dealt with when we were faced with significant financial challenges on the farm. It seemed that the stress I was under was triggering memories of negotiations and meetings regarding the sale of our farm and settlement negotiations with our creditors. Left me with very uncomfortable feelings. I find it interesting what triggers some of these “flashbacks”. I would have thought that the experiences this week could be categorized as good stress whereas the stress we went through on the farm was bad stress. But, hey, things got done. It’s a matter of utilizing the right tools. Stress management tools, that is.

However, in spite of things happening quickly, there are always some challenges that arise. Perhaps some negligence in reading the fine print. Perhaps not understanding the real estate process. Call it what you may. Suffice it to say that being in limbo is nerve racking. It creates anxiety. It creates fear. It creates a feeling of “what have I done now”.

As I made my way to Brandon, on a dark foggy morning, I was very uptight. I was wondering what could all go wrong with our plans. I was feeling extreme anxiety. I was desperately needing some Lorazapam. Wait a minute. I think I have some. I looked for it. Found it. I think it’s outdated. Thought it might help. Just as I was trying to open the child-proof cap I received an email, from a friend, on my “not so smart” smart phone. (a story best left for another day) It was a godsend. The quote she sent went as follows;

“Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success”. B. Adams

My first thought was, how did she know that I was experiencing some real anxiety. And then I thought about the quote and realized that I must become patient. A real sense of calm came over me. It was great.

See how simple it can be? Sometimes, and I speak for myself, I over complicate things. I don’t realize how simple solutions are right at my finger tips. When that anxiety hits, when we have doubts, when we begin to question our competency, we must take the time to sit back and breath. Let our thoughts become quiet. Allow patience to take over. Make it a good one.

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