The Recovering Farmer

Friday, March 8, 2013

The Big Unknown

I am sure that by now you know that I will have a rant about the weather. After all it is the beginning of March and there does not seem to be any let up in sight. Winter is here to stay. Okay, granted, the temperatures have gone up some. Notice I did not say have warmed up. I just checked the records for this date and it tells me that the warmest day on record is plus 16. Plus 16? Hardly that today. In fact there is snow falling. Miami, and I am not talking Florida, got 56 centimeters of snow on Monday. 56 cms. That is somewhere north of 20 inches. Sorry, that shows my age. I can relate to inches but not centimeters.

As I had written previously I had a commitment from one of my golf friends that we would be golfing by March 29. Me thinks not. We will be lucky if we are golfing by April 29. Okay, in the spirit of trying to be objective, I am not. I keep looking out the window and seeing this beautiful winter vista. Beautiful, if in fact it was Christmas. It’s not. It’s March. Then I hear on radio that March is when Manitoba receives the most precipitation. That is not helpful. Perhaps I can go with the fact that March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb. What else can I base any hope on? Hope that this will change.

I know. Weather is completely out of my control. As such I need to put aside any anxiety connected to this ongoing debacle called winter. And I have. But the waiting game can be stressful. It seems that we spend so much time waiting for answers. Our kids were working on buying a house this week. So they put in an offer and then have to wait to hear whether it has been accepted. Then they need to finalize financing and so they wait again. The deadline approaches and the answer is not forthcoming. Then finally the waiting is over. My friend, the left hander, is waiting for the results of medical tests. Although the doctors always are positive, negative thoughts can and do take over. It becomes debilitating.

It is the big unknown. We are looking for positive answers. But when there are unknowns we have this unique ability to conjure up the most negative scenarios. And as we wait, as we lie awake at nights worrying, as we robotically go about our daily lives, those negative thoughts mushroom and before we realize it we are convinced that the news we are waiting for will be bad, and as funny as it sounds, even worse than a worst case scenario. It is so difficult to imagine good news. And as the stress of waiting draws out longer and longer our mental anguish can become a crisis. The point where our lives change. The point where we are convinced that life can never be the same.

There is relief. Quite often when we fall into this state we also isolate ourselves. We withdraw. We have this notion that nobody would understand. Nobody cares. That is not the case. It is important during these crises in our lives to reach out. Find someone to talk to. Find your supports. Talking helps. Even if the other person cannot provide answers, even if they just normalize and validate your feelings, it helps to verbalize the anxiety happening within. Also remember that mindfulness works. Find your happy place. Make it a good one.

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