Got an email from my nephew today saying that the golf course is closing on October 23. Good to know. Last night we went on a bike ride. Meandered through the course. It was warm. No wind. I lamented about not being out there golfing. When I got the text I checked the forecast. Single digit temperatures. Chance of snow Sunday. Does not look promising. The realization has hit. Golfing season, for all intents and purposes, is over.
So if golfing is not part of the equation it might as well snow. Otherwise, just like this afternoon, I look out the window and wonder what if. What if I had gone out? I still have a chance. Plus 2, slight, make that significant, breeze from the north. No problem. Yeah right. Big problem.
In spring this kind of day could well get me out there. In fall, not so much. I need to move on. Someone suggested to me that I should find an activity for winter. Options are limited. I could try hockey but am miserably out of shape and know if I fall I may never get up again and if I do I will have pain for the rest of my life. I could try curling. I won two trophies thirty years ago. Quit at the top. Know for a fact there is no higher goal I could achieve. Still working on my delivery. It was pathetic back then. Nothing has changed. Not sure anyone would have me.
I started writing this early in the week. Here it is Tuesday and guess what. The ground is white. Do I have the right to change my mind? I don’t think I want snow. However, when I look out the window towards the golf course I can honestly say I am not tempted to go out and hit a few balls.
So we begin another Manitoba winter. Will it be a three month ordeal? Or will it be six months? Will we have lots of snow? Will the temperatures be above normal or below? Nobody knows. Predictions are being made. We shall see.
Really the answers to the above questions do not matter. We do this every year. We wait and we wonder. And year in and year out we survive. Each year we bitch and complain about this horrible place we live in. And each year we wait with baited breath for spring. And when spring arrives we have an ah-ha moment. We realize why we live here. Why we are resilient enough to survive another one.
Quite frankly when I saw the snow at the beginning of the week I quickly lost interest in another fight with winter. I started to regret that I had not taken advantage of the warmer weather in September. I felt remorse at not having golfed more than I did. I felt my anxiety building. As I sat in my office, preparing a presentation, I came across a quote as follows. “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” That gave me an ah-ha moment. I need to work on living in the present. Perhaps take care of some of my anxiety, some dark moments, regrets and all the other negative thoughts that are so quick to arise. Enjoy the moment. That is all we have. The moment. Make it a good one.