I came across some information on the internet that I think teaches a valuable lesson. Actually I did not come across it; my daughter in law sent it to me. Notice, I just made a mistake. Fortunately I caught it and was able to correct it quickly before it became an issue involving others. Unfortunately I am seldom that quick at realizing when I have screwed up. And for the most part my mistakes, my screw ups, my stupidity hurts others. And, ultimately, make my life worse as well. Except, of course, if I realize and understand the mistake and do my utmost to make it right.
FUBAR is a term first used many years ago in the military. I remember the first time I heard that word. It was during a game of Trivial Pursuit at a church youth function. You would think a family game such as that would not create a problem during a wholesome church event. The question asked what the word FUBAR stood for. As the question was asked the pastor was hovering around our table watching the activities. Needless to say when the answer was given there were some red faces around. For those that don’t know FUBAR “is a term that originates as a military acronym for "fucked up beyond all/any recognition/repair/reason/redemption". My apologies if I offended anyone with the use of the “f” word. I plead ignorance as I was just quoting someone else. In fact it being an important historical military fact I plead innocence.
I often use the word, FUBAR that is, because most of my gaffes fall into that category. That is just simply me. Yes, I am trying to change but at my age change can be slow and tedious if it happens at all. Nevertheless I digress. The point is we all make mistakes. How we deal with the mistakes, whether our own or someone else’s, becomes the challenge. Following is what my daughter in law shared with me.
“In a certain African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.
For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done.
The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as a good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness. But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes.
The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help. They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: “I am good.” Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia!
NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: “I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.” In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: “So, I exist for you.” (author unknown)
As I alluded to earlier I make my share of mistakes. More than once I have needed what is described above. As I struggled with certain issues earlier this year my wife, my kids and my family did what the African tribe did for their own. For that I am appreciative. For that reason I am able to function today. Perhaps we can take this mantra with us and use it with others. After all, and again I quote, “It is natural for humans to cooperate, help and share. Individuals may be callous, inept, and defensive; but true malevolence is rare”. Make it a good one.