Telling Stories

 The story is told of a doctor that met with a group of his peers that met regularly to discuss challenges they faced with their patients. On this particular evening the doctor presented a story of one of his patients that had died due to a strange illness that he had not been able to diagnose and all methods of trying to find solutions had failed. His peers were quite helpful in discussing various ideas that could have worked to save the patient. Suddenly the doctor got up to leave. When asked where he was going, he informed them that the patient was still alive and due to the discussion, he now knew what was needed.

This week is mental illness awareness week. How better to create awareness then to share stories? We can read the statistics, we can learn the theory, we can see the posts on social media but to really be aware stories will help us learn. Stories will help us relate. And stories will help us on our journeys.

I had the opportunity this week to interview Allan Kehler (www.allankehler.com), a mental health advocate in Saskatchewan. I found it remarkable how his journey mirrored my own. How do I know that? We compared stories. We chatted about our journeys and the tools we use to stay mentally well.

He shared his experience of a significant turning point in his journey. The day one of his professors called him into his office because he had noticed that Allan was struggling. He offered a listening ear. And just in the way that the questions were asked, Allan felt the freedom to begin talking.

 It reminded of a significant turning point in my journey. Several years ago, when I was in a dark place, a neighbor dropped by. He clearly sensed that I was not in a good place. He asked me how I was doing, not in the usual greeting we often use, but in a personal way that clearly opened the door for me to start talking. I verbalized many of the thoughts that were running rampant in my head. And in the most helpful way, my neighbor sat and listened. He didn’t try to rationalize my thoughts, he didn’t try to provide answers, but rather he listened quietly and normalized and validated what he was hearing. He provided the encouragement for me to move forward. He provided a light in the dark place I was in.

This conversation, this sharing of stories just reminded me again the importance of “talking about it”. The ability to put a voice to our pain provides a path forward to feeling free. The ability to verbalize our stinking thinking gets us out of our heads and into life. Once we get those anxious, ruminating thoughts out we can face our future with much more clarity.

And rest assured. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 1 in 3 people are facing mental health challenges. So as Allan said, and I have experienced, when we start sharing our story, we quickly find out that we are not the only one that is struggling, not the only one that is experiencing challenges.

There is also a reminder here for the 2 out of 3 people not experiencing mental health challenges. Reach out to others. Ask the right questions. Be prepared to listen. Don’t be judgemental. Just be there. Be supportive. Provide that listening ear. You may be surprised at the help you can be so that 3 out of 3 of us can live life as it was meant to be. As the picture on my wall says, “the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it”. Make it a good one.