Git R Done

Okay. I admit it. I stole that. Actually when you think of it, did I? Steal it that is. Stealing is when you take something from someone in a sneaking way hoping no one will find out. Right? Shoplifting would fit in that category. Robbing a bank, on the other hand, is not really being sneaky. You just hope you don’t get caught. Not sure why I am actually talking about this.

Getting back to the title. Over the last week I have taped, oops, excuse me, recorded some comedy shows. Larry the Cable Guy is one of the comedians. Of course he is all about “Git R Done”. I enjoy his sense of humour. Throw in a little Jeff Foxworthy and you have a real show. The other two guys are not quite so funny so I can’t even remember their names. Don’t need too.

Do you know that kids will laugh up to 400 times a day? That is awesome. As adults that very often becomes a dismal 12 times a day. No wonder we have mental health issues. We need to laugh more. We had our grandson at our house this weekend. What a change of pace that is. Not only that. He laughs. He laughs at a lot. Made me envious. I got a real kick out of making him laugh. And when he laughed? Guess what? I had to laugh. Over the most mindless things I was splitting a gut. Wish I could do that more often.

My wife and I did a home renovation project last week. We insulated and drywalled our garage. Let me assure you that my physical stamina is not what it used to be. I am also somewhat chagrined to admit that she seemed to hold up better than me. It was tough work. What I did not realize is that when I was watching my comedy shows the week before she obviously took note of what I was watching. When I would lag, run out of breath, not sure I could carry on, she would pipe up with, “let’s get r done”. It worked. We got it done. Will pay for that for some time to come. Actually, I notice her hurting just a bit too.

Humour is a real stress reliever. There is a reason that the Readers Digest has a regular feature called “Humour, the best medicine”. The Readers Digest would not lie, would they? Truth be known, and you can google this if you like, laughing releases certain hormones in the brain. In fact it benefits us in building up our immune system, decrease pain to mention just a few. It also helps in decreasing and coping with stress. Let me leave you with a quote from Helpguide. “Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.” That pretty much says it all. Now find something to make you laugh. Make it a good one.

Out of the Closet

Okay. Here goes. Hang on to your hats. I am about to make an admission. This comes during an afternoon of trying REALLY hard to throw a birthday party for my dear wife. Not a big event. There will be approximately eight of us. Wow. What a lot of work. Just deciding on what kind of pizza I wanted was tough. Who knew? You now have three choices. Simple question. What is normal. I suppose I don’t do this enough.

Back to my admission. Midafternoon. I am weary. This birthday party thing is hard. One of the kids suggested an ice cream cake from DQ. Hey. I like that idea. Went to pick it up after I had ordered three pizzas with a normal, make that regular crust. Now the pressure is on. I will buy the cake, pick up the pizza, buy some beer or wine, and make it home before the cake melts. Tough job. But someone has to do it. Made it. Now to sit and wait. Probably did not order the right kind of pizza. I don’t care. I am hungry.

As I sit and wait I do the usual. Grab my laptop, check headlines. See if someone tried to contact me with skype, and then may play some solitaire. Solitaire is an interesting game. Totally mindless. Helps pass the time. Here is a warning. If you need to pass time by playing solitaire you need therapy. I know. I do.

I check the Winnipeg Sun. The usual gobbledegook about the Bombers. Isn’t that a gong show. Some other stories that involve either sex or violence. Big cocaine bust in Head. . . . Will you look at this. OMG. (sorry, this may become ugly) There is a report on a wrestler who has admitted to being gay. Can you imagine? Gay. God forbid.

Are you serious? In 2013 there are news headlines about someone being gay? Why? It makes no difference to me what side of the fence you may be on. It matters not to me what you may believe. I just cannot quite grasp the fact that being gay is noteworthy. I wish I had the space to tell you a story or two. I probably do. After all there is no limit to my space. Rather I will tell you someday when you may meet me. My stories make for good conversation pieces. (my wife may not agree)

Okay. Here is an admission. I am coming out of the closet. I am not gay. I am waiting? Did that make the headlines? No? What a relief. Not sure I want anybody to know.

It would seem to me that in this world of violence, homelessness, riots, war, child poverty, and many other deplorable and horrible crimes against humanity we would not become consumed by someone’s sexual preference. I find that incredibly sad.

Someone, who may or may not want to be acknowledged, sent me some information the other day. Him being a wise, biblical scholar type, must surely be telling the truth. He informed me that being gay and smoking pot is quite biblical. Apparently it says in Leviticus, a book in the Old Testament, that when a man lays with another man he should be stoned. That is what I am going with. I may be in the market. For pot, that is. Make it a good one.

Watermelons

Many years ago, almost too many to remember, I delivered a watermelon to a certain house near Morris, Manitoba. Not sure where I got the idea from but did it nonetheless. You see, I had a very important question to ask the people in that house. A question that took weeks to compose, to rehearse, and to make sure I had right. Funny how when I got to the door I completely forgot my lines. It was nerve racking. You see, I was paying a visit to my girlfriend’s parents. I wanted their blessing in asking her the big question. Not sure what role the watermelon played in all of this.

Whatever the case I started a tradition. My wife has three sisters who got married after us. Each one of their husbands brought a melon when they arrived to ask the question. Really that was not quite fair. You see, when they showed up on the yard bearing a watermelon, the secret was out. The parents knew what was about to happen. Took a lot of the tension out of the air. There was a certain amount of time for preparation. Not so for me. I walked up to the door with a watermelon. They must have thought I lost my mind. To this day my father-in-law has flashbacks when he sees watermelons. Not sure the therapy worked. Perhaps it has something to do with who I actually turned out to be.

Seems that my kids were quite familiar with the story. We have only one daughter but suffice it to say her boyfriend has been told time and time again that should he want to marry my daughter there would need to be a watermelon involved.

He called me two weeks ago. The two of them had gone to the east coast to visit his family. He caught me during a break in my meeting. He asked the question. I said I didn’t have time to talk plus I didn’t see a watermelon anywhere. Hung up on him. Guess what. Last night he went shopping. Not just a watermelon. He brought me a watermelon, a cantaloupe and a muskmelon. So it is official. They are getting married. Oh, and just so you know, I did call him back later that day I hung up on him.

Last night I asked my daughter-in-law why she had never given me a watermelon. Her answer was that she had not asked for our blessing to marry our son. Got me thinking. Perhaps that needs to change. I mean with the whole idea of feminism and equality. I suggested it wasn`t too late. She could still do it. I won`t hold my breath.

This getting old has some interesting moments. Moments that provide memories for a life time. Two years ago I got a daughter-in-law, almost one year ago I got a grandson and now I am getting a son-in-law. I feel truly blessed when I look at our kids and see how they have developed and continue to develop. To see how our family is being added to. Sometimes when I feel a dark cloud hovering over me I need to remind myself of the positives in my life. And I can truly say that my family provides that positive energy. Watermelons or not. Make it a good one.

Two Things To Avoid

Over the years I have tried to stay away from certain subjects. Politics and religion. God knows I have lots of opinions on those subjects. Why do I avoid these topics? I am not quite sure. Perhaps because they stir up certain emotions that are completely unnecessary. Perhaps I am trying to avoid conflict. My wife would probably question that statement. Perhaps it is because I have certain opinions but also realize that for every opinion I have there are people with opinions on the other side of the issue. And, I know, I need to respect those opinions. There is the mediator coming out in me.

I wrote that as I was thinking about my next blog. Then when I went to continue that train of thought I had no idea why I wrote what I did. That is the beauty of a bad memory. Perhaps beauty, perhaps not. I think I had a really good thing going. Now it’s gone.

As I sit here on a Thursday afternoon, contemplating the long weekend, looking forward to spending time with friends, I search out headlines. See if something newsworthy has happened. Politically? Justin Trudeau has admitted to smoking pot. Harper has accused him of promoting pot for children. Most, if not all, politicians are running from media because media is asking them whether they inhaled. In mediation terms that is clearly avoidance. Give me a break. I have glaucoma. Apparently pot is good for glaucoma. I may not have a choice. But god forbid should you ask whether I ever tried it. Not sure where that discussion would go.

I rode along with someone this week who I would suggest, and he might argue, is a staunch right winger. That is fine. We all have our thoughts, beliefs, and hopes. Although using the word hopes when talking about politics may be my first mistake. Political discussions always seem to be centered around he said, she said. Or they did this so we can do that. There does not appear to be any honesty in politics at all.

How about religion? Is there any honesty there? I have heard a rather personal story this week which would make me question religion, honesty, and fundamentalism. Trust me. I will not “unpack” that one for you. Perhaps another day.

It is difficult to avoid these subjects. People become so immersed in them it begins to mold and shape their lives. Then we run into problems. We can make anything look like we want it too. Someone showed me the following quote some time ago. I like it. There is so much truth. “A dangerous book the Bible is. It can be made to say anything, its meaning in the eye of the beholder “ . Me thinks that says it all.

Does that mean I disagree or agree with certain political or religious sentiments? Not at all. Do I think and believe that all of us have various and uniq1ue interpretations of what we hear in church, what we read in the Bible, what we read in the papers, hear on T.V.,and what some people might be pushing down our throats? Absolutely. So where to from here? My father always said separate church from the state. That means I should not have included both subjects. SORRY. Will try harder next time. Make it a good one.

The Dodo Bird

How many of you have heard of the Dodo bird? Probably a few of you. If for no other reason than because there is the infamous saying “gone like the Dodo bird”. I looked it up. It appears that the Dodo bird was a flightless bird found somewhere on the island of Mauritus, which is located somewhere on the Indian Ocean. Does that help? Me thinks not.

Why am I asking? Quite simple. I was watching golf today and a commentator made a comment about the “anchored” putter going the way of the Dodo bird. That statement brings up a bunch of questions. Why was I watching rather than enjoying a game myself? After all it was the club championships at my course this weekend. Something I look forward to on an annual basis.

It is simple. I had eye surgery on Friday. When I suggested to the nurses and the attending doctor that I wanted to golf the following morning the response was, perhaps I won’t go there. Obviously not something I should be planning on. Here I sit two days after the surgery and wonder what was accomplished. It was painful. The doctor said it had worked really well. And yet I can’t see much out of that eye. Perhaps things will improve. Here is hoping.

The surgery, as I have been told, was less invasive than cataract surgery. Okay. But it still hurt. See, what happened is that the lens that was implanted in my eye six years ago had become loose and was causing my vision to go wonky. So he needed to reposition it. No problem. He explained the day after the surgery what he had done. It was a simple matter of poking two holes in the eye, tunneling from one hole to the next, inserting the suture and tying the lens to my eye, I think. That simple. No problem.

Back to the Dodo bird. So the anchored putter is headed into the annals of history. All the governing bodies have decided that enough is enough. The anchored putter is an insult to the game. How dare we. Took them long enough to decide that. There are some players that have used these putters for well over ten years. Now they are making them illegal to be used. Interestingly enough we have till 2016 to adapt to this rule. Sounds like the golf organizations move just as slow as most governments.

Two years ago I wrote about getting one of those putters. It has worked really well for me. I am told that amateurs will still be able to use them after 2016. And, trust me, I am an amateur. But I suspect the folks I golf with won’t let me live that down. So after finally finding something that works for my “yips” I will have to make some changes. This could be rather difficult.
I mentioned yips. Let me explain. When I use a putter that is not anchored there is all kinds of movement every which way when I make my stroke. Those are called “the yips”. I suppose some might suggest I have bigger yips to deal with in life. And perhaps I do. Hopefully I can send those the way of the Dodo bird as well. For now it is my eye. Need to get it functional. Then move on to others.

P.S. Heard a good one today. “If you can’t stand up for something you will fall for anything”. I will work on that one. Make it a good one.

What Is Happening

How do I answer that? I have no idea. It has been tough slugging for me. Feels like each day I am walking through mud, knee deep. Not the way it should be. I know better. I have the tools. Writing my weekly blog used to be relatively easy. Not now. I have a start to three different ones. May be controversial. Perhaps interesting. Am leaving those for another day. Let me give you a quick update as to where I am at.

Have you ever tried the breathing exercise that I have demonstrated in various workshops? You know the one that helps with mindfulness? I did. Last night about 2:00 am. Didn’t work. I tried to find my happy place. It is gone. I played a golf course in my mind. Did not work. This is hopeless.

I find it ironical that the guru of stress management is at wit’s end. That is not supposed to happen. I suppose that means I am human. Although I have never heard anyone dispute that, I would like to think different.

I am human. And just like everyone else I run into certain challenges that seem to be overwhelming. The last few months have been a real challenge. No, I don’t have cancer. (not that I know of but have been worried about since I was a child), I have work (although it is silly season, the time of year when many people are on holidays and it is tough to set up a meeting), the kids are doing okay (there is a certain phone call that I can’t talk about but sounds good), I have a wonderful, good looking grandson (he really is), and so many other things I can be and am thankful for.

So what’s the problem? I don’t know. As I sit and write this the door bell wrings. At the door is the neighbor’s daughter with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. How neat is that? I give Rose a look, emotions overwhelm, and all I can do is be thankful for what we have. It truly is awesome.
I am scheduled for eye surgery on Friday. You probably recall me talking about certain issues I have had. Some time ago I wrote that a simple laser procedure was all it would take to fix the problem. Found out that was not the case. Turns out I need a surgery. That is happening, rather quickly, this Friday.

Sounds minor. Hope it is. My wife just reminded me that once the surgery is done that some of my anxiety would dissipate. I hope she is right. I need new direction in my life. Perhaps if my vision is corrected I can get that. Make it a good one.

Turning Back The Clock

How often do you look back in time and wish you had done things differently? I know I do. I second guess decisions I made, particularly as it concerns my stint at farming. There is a reason I call myself a recovering farmer. There are a host of regrets we have. However, you seldom hear of someone that regrets something positive in their life.

In a recent conversation I made the comment that if I had done things differently on the farm the results would have been better. (Although being a hog farmer my chances were slim based on the industry over the last years) The person I was chatting with made the comment that if I had done things differently it might have turned out even worse. That made me think.

I just finished reading a book. All 900 pages. A book by Stephen King. Not an author I particularly like. However I had been told that the book 11/22/63 was interesting. It was. Only about 450 pages too long. If you plan on reading it don’t read the rest of this paragraph. Might give away the plot and that would make it even longer. In the story a person travels back in time, from 2011 to 1963, to stop the assassination of JFK. Because he knows the details of what happened on that fateful day in 1963 he has the ability to stop it. He accomplishes the task, comes back to 2011, only to find that he has changed the course of history and the world is much worse off.

An interesting turn of events, to say the least. It hammered home the point I made previously. Perhaps if we were to turn back the clock things might turn out worse. Kind of defeats the purpose of having regrets. A paradigm shift, to say the least.

That then simply means we need to live with what we have. We live in an imperfect world. Crap happens. How we deal with that becomes the issue. Read a quote on Facebook this week which said “when something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you”. Somewhat of a stark reality. When I look at those three options it would seem that the third one would be most conducive to a brighter future. When something bad happens let it strengthen you.

I have written in the past about different people I have met over the years. The gentleman that was in a horrific accident. The fellow who lost his eyesight. My friend who had cancer surgery. Kids that have experienced shattered dreams. All of them have shown incredible strength. Sure, in their darkest hours or days, they lament the negative events in their lives. We all do. However, in general, they have shown resilience that I can only learn from.

Another book that I have read more than once highlights the lives of numerous people who have had life changing events happen to them. The author, in the preface, makes an interesting point. “Without that which hurt them, derailed them, almost destroyed them, they might never have undergone the forced emotional evolution that gave birth to their new, stronger self.”

Someone once told me that had I not experienced what I did I would not be who I am today. Here is hoping that that was a positive statement. That may be true. But am I who I want to be? One of the people I mentioned above told me that he was getting tired of being an inspiration to others. Sometimes I feel that way. I just want to be normal. Then again, maybe, just maybe, I am. Make life changes before life changes. Make it a good one.