A Difficult Question

Just after I posted my last blog I received a phone call informing me that a close family member had died. Shocking to say the least. Forty two years old. Something really wrong with this picture. That is not supposed to happen. But, unfortunately, it does. How we deal with it becomes the challenge.

We dropped in at my nephew’s that fateful day. His wife had gone out for her usual morning jog. She collapsed. She died. We wonder why. It is heartbreaking to see a family without a mother. Things have changed and will continue to change. I have no concept of what those changes will entail. I often pride myself in being able to connect with people who have or are enduring hardship. This one leaves me completely befuddled.

As we were sitting there and contemplating this tragedy I made a comment to her brother that situations like this brought everything back into perspective. It does. All my whining and complaining about spring taking its jolly time becomes a minor issue. Those financial issues I have been worrying about become a minor irritant. Health issues I thought I had seem to have gone. Reiterates for me what I suggested last week. “The important things in life are not things”.

I saw pain this week like never before. A pain that cannot be fully explained. A pain that leaves one breathless. Hearts that will never mend. Words mean nothing. A feeling of hopelessness. A feeling of being in a really bad dream. A feeling that surely we can wake up and find it is not true.

I also saw family coming together to support, to help, to share the grief. Shock was evident. But I also saw these family members dig deep and find the strength to do what needs to be done.

The world is missing a wonderful person. She epitomized what many wish to become. A mother, a wife, a partner, a sister, a community leader and a mentor to many young kids. On the mantel was a caricature of her in the midst of a bunch of smiling kids. Something she received just a week ago to celebrate the work she had done with kids in the community.

Life is short. In some cases much to short. Finding answers may never happen. Probably not even sure what questions to ask. Other than, WHY??? Here is hoping that this young father finds the strength, finds the stamina, finds the wherewithal to cope, to carry on, and to be the parent that his kids will so desperately need. Here is hoping that the kids can carry on with a life without their mother. Embrace what she has taught them in her short life. And here is hoping that in a time of need I can be there. It will take a community to rally around this family. I need to be part of that community.