Keep On The Sunny Side

Looking out the window keeping on the sunny side should not be difficult. Clear skies and sunshine. Looks positive. However, step out the door and one’s perspective quickly changes. A brisk wind. 15 degrees below normal. You really have to ignore the fact that yesterday was technically the first day of spring. It has become rather tedious.

I have thought long and hard about what I wrote last week. There is something that does not sit right with me. Not that I don’t agree with what I wrote. Perhaps it is more of a matter that I should expand on it. Keeping perspective, as we do with the weather, is good. We need to do that. However we also need to be realistic. As much as we have officially entered spring, as much as we know that it will happen some day and as much as we realize that it could be worse we also have certain wants and wishes. We should not ignore them.

Some years ago, after having talked to a group on depression, a participant approached me and began sharing some of the struggles he was having. He could relate too many of the things I had just talked about. But then he said that he really had nothing to complain about. You see. Just the day before Haiti had experienced a devastating earthquake. He felt chagrin, and perhaps even shame, at even thinking he had problems compared to what millions were going through in that country.

This is where we need to tread very carefully. As much as we try to keep things in perspective we must remain cognizant of what we are experiencing. Suggesting that other people are experiencing something worse than us and therefore we should just be happy is not being fair to ourselves.

I would suggest that no matter what we are experiencing we could always find someone that is in a worse situation. And to a degree that does bring about some relief. But it does not fix our problem. Regardless of what is happening in another country, regardless of what my uncle is going through, regardless of what I just heard from my cousin, regardless of the dilemma I dealt with this morning, regardless of how someone else is experiencing health issues, regardless, regardless, regardless. If I am feeling despondent, sad or upset about issues in my life those issues are important, need to be dealt with and cannot and should not be minimized.

We all have a right, we all have the need and we all should feel upset about things happening in our lives that bring pain, hurt or mental anguish. That is normal. However, having these issues fester and stew and control our lives is a problem. That is where the idea of “making it a gooder” comes in. Remember when I talked about mindfulness in the past? Finding your happy place?

Hence the title to this diatribe. Keep on the sunny side. Perhaps that is all we have. I often find that I beat myself up. Think I could have and should have done better. Blame myself for my misery. Becomes a very lonely world. I read some words of wisdom today. They challenged me to be gentle with myself. To never underestimate my own strength. That gave me a sense of comfort. A sense of direction. Perhaps I never will have today, what I think will make me happy, what I think would only be fair. But what I have today can make me happy. That is the key. Keep on the sunny side. Make it a good one.

Make It A Gooder

Last night my wife and I were watching a movie. If you had been fortunate enough to watch through the window you would have laughed. Every time a commercial came on we would run to our separate laptops to check weather. I know. Some of you are thinking that there would be nothing as funny as watching us through a window. The weather was bizarre. Zero visibility. I posted on Facebook that two years ago the golf course had opened and it had been plus 18. Not so much this year.

As I watched on radar and out the window I heard a long sigh from across the room. Another week was beginning and, quite frankly, we had no idea what it would bring. My wife looked at me and said we needed to make it a gooder. A gooder? Not sure that is a word but I knew exactly what she meant. We have the ability to control our destiny.

Okay. That really is a load of crap. We are not able to control our destiny. Do you ever stop and think what the world would look like if you had control? Much different. Let me assure you. However I do understand a quote I read this weekend. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.”

After the blinding snow storm yesterday I took my mother to some medical appointments this morning. The driveway was plugged. Roads were slippery. However I made it. Saw numerous other people that were not as lucky. Came close myself. Ever realize how helpless you are when another car is headed right for you? I saw it coming. I braced for the crash. It didn’t happen. Not sure my heart rate has recovered yet. That would have been a gooder. I don’t think that is what my wife was referring too when she suggested we make it a gooder.

Her suggestion made me think. How often do we or people around us mope through life? We grunt and groan and try to make it from one day to the next. We sit and ponder how life is so unfair. What if the weather was nicer? What if my job paid more? What if I had more money? What if I didn’t have these challenges? I suspect we could always ask “what if”.

In my journeys this morning I stopped in at an uncle and aunt. They needed something to be picked up at the Pharmacy. I did that. I delivered it. I stopped for a fleeting moment for a chat. It was an eye opener.

My uncle had a stroke a number of years ago. It has been devastating for him and for the family. A fellow that used to be active in life. Enjoyed football. A long time season ticket holder to the Bombers. But a life irrevocably changed by a health challenge. A health challenge that confines him to a wheel chair. Trust me. Not what he wants.

As I got up to leave, telling them I needed to get to work, my uncle looked at me at said that he would like to be able to work. He would like to be clearing snow, take out the garbage, and look forward to cutting the grass. But life has dealt him a different card. He can only look out the window and wish. However, the smile on his face was enough to make my day. My aunt told a story that gave me a good belly laugh. I saw a home where there was a real effort to overcome the challenges that this imperfect planet has to offer us.

Gave me a new perspective. As much as I complain. As much as I wish the weather would improve. As much as I wish that I could win the lottery. I know that life is okay. I know that life could be so much more challenging than it really is. I know that at this point I have the ability to make it a gooder. And I know that I will try. Make it a good one.

Diary of a Manitoban

Someone sent me the story below. I think it says it all. My apologies for any language that might offend. Then again, maybe not. Enjoy.



December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first
snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours
by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds
again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering
every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again. I did
both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along
and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a
white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have
so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.
I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our
neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely
snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes
everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by
shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came
back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would
have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape
this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the
ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for five hours. I
had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living
room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff
last night. More shoveling. Took all day.
Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but
they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called
the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I
think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was
right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white shit fell
today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til August. Took me 45
minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to
shovel! Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the
winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today,
and it warmed up to "0". The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the
house this morning. What, is she nuts!!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I
think she's lying.

December 24: 6".
Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a
heart attack. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow,
I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my
broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and
throws snow all over everywhere I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me
to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy
watching for the Goddamn snowplow.

December 25: Merry F!=3D@x@!x!x1 Christmas. 20 more inches of the
!=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood
boil. God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over
the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think
she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more
time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26: Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She is really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28: Warmed up to above
-50. Still snowed in. The WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think I am?


December 30: Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now
suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave him, but
also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.


December 31: I set fire to
what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

We Wait and We Wonder

I just spent some time reading past blogs. I do that occasionally. Find out what my thoughts were a week ago, a month ago, even a year ago. Very quickly noticed a common thread. We have had winter for close to forever. Windchill last night was -49. I started writing about the brutal winter back in November. Will it never end?

A friend on facebook posted, yesterday, that they were golfing on Sunday and whether I would like to join them. She was just kidding of course. Not much better where they are as they live just up the street. That is cruel. I thought back to two years ago. That is when we moved to La Salle. We moved middle of February. By March 16 the golf course had opened. It was plus 20. I could only envision we had arrived in the promised land. How things have changed. Here we are two years later and by all indications we are living in a god forsaken arctic waste land. My apologies. I sound angry. I should. . . . NO. I am angry. I am tired of this. And so are countless others.

So we wait and we wonder. When will it change? We check the forecast. Even single digits on the minus side gives us hope. We grasp at straws. An old wives tale may be all we have left to provide us with hope. Remember what you heard as a youngster? “If march comes in as a lion it will leave like a lamb.” I think it is safe to assume that March came in like a lion. A hungry, grouchy lion. Probably has a hang nail or something. That gives me hope. Should mean that March will leave as a lamb.

What makes this winter so bad? Why does it feel worse than others? Probably because it is. Worst winter in many years. Then we get a short reprieve and the wind comes back with a vengeance. Add heavy snowfall to the wind and we have ourselves a situation. Travel is difficult. Just getting to and from work is exhausting.

It is getting to everyone. This particular piece has been written over a period of a week. Today is the fourth day in that seven day period that the weather has created significant challenges. That seems to have been the pattern for months. Arctic Vortex seems to be the new norm. The new term used to describe our weather. I am not young anymore and quite honestly cannot recall having heard that before. I think Arctic Vortex sounds like a good title for a movie. A thriller. A movie of survival. I may write the script for that. Just trying to figure out where in the movie we should barbeque the groundhog.

So we wait and we wonder. Wait for the turn around. Wonder why it is taking so long. Folks, there is hope. The forecast shows sunshine and zero for Monday. I know that will change. In fact may have already. But I will not look. In the meantime we can only hope for better things to come. It may be right around the corner. Then again it might take a few months. In the meantime I will wait for something better. It’s all I got. Just saw a picture on Facebook. A picture of a woman up to her knees in snow. The caption reads, "screw it, I am gardening”. Pretty much says it all. Make it a good one.

Signing A Pre-cup

Yip. You think I just lost it. No worries. I lost it a long time ago. I have had a few interviews over the last couple of weeks. No problem there. I enjoy doing them. However, the one regarded pre-nup agreements. Really? Wondering what I could possibly add to that. I was actually quoted. Talked about open and forthright communication. That is important in any circumstance.

Today I heard a new one. A pre-cup agreement. This situation came about because of the Roll Up The Rim to win. What a ghastly time of year is this? Promises of major winnings. A brighter future. Perhaps a car. Maybe coffee. Worst case scenario? A donut. Okay. I lied. Worst case scenario? “Please try again”. Some may argue that.

The story came from someone that took a friend out for coffee to Timmies. A double double I bet. Doesn’t that sound typical? Apparently one person bought the other a coffee. They rolled up the rim and the one who got a free coffee won a hundred dollar Timmies gift card. So far so good.

How do you roll up the rim? Admit it. We all frequent the joint just to get one of those cups. Don’t you find some irony in the fact that now other donut shops are offering some sort of roll up the rim contest? I have found that using my teeth works best. Fingers don’t work that well. So I use my mouth. Then I got to thinking about how it must feel for the employees to be grabbing these cups with my spit all over it. Not to mention the fact that others probably do the same. So then after having handled someone else’s gob soaked cup the employee grabs a muffin for me. And they never washed their hands. The more I think about it the worse it gets. Perhaps it would be best to avoid these places as long as they have these contests happening.

So the person who had not paid for the coffee won the prize. The person who paid felt that the prize belonged to him. A conflict ensued. I think they needed a mediator. After all. This could become messy. Remember a few years ago. The story out of Quebec? Me neither.

So the donut shop known as Timmies has come up with a plan. A pre-cup agreement. Really. That reminds me of the time we went to the World Curling Championship opening ceremonies in Brandon. We went with another couple. When we finally found our table it became clear that two of us would have to navigate around to the other side. No problem. Me being the nice person I volunteered that my wife and I would go to the other side. At each place setting was a truck key. Long story short is that the seat I first got to was the lucky seat. Because of my kindness I did not win. Should have had a pre-nup. Wait a minute. A pre-cup. No, that does not work either. A pre-truck? Who cares. Didn’t have one.

So in case you plan on buying someone a coffee in the foreseeable future make sure you have a pre-cup agreement. You may laugh. You may scoff. But think about it. You buy your friend, colleague, neighbor a coffee. They win a car. What are you going to do? It could become very unpleasant. Just visit the Timmies website. You can print a pre-cup agreement and have one handy should you feel generous. Did I really say that? Did I really write this? Make it a good one.

OMG

Is it okay to use that as a title? It has been an interesting few days. What just pushed me over the edge were comments regarding a certain political party who had their convention this weekend who I will say nothing against because that might bite me in the butt if I was actually concerned about that. Okay, that was a mouthful. I used to have aspirations of being a politician but am glad that feeling passed. As often as I put my foot in my mouth the opposition would have a heyday. Now it is up to you to figure out who the opposition is. Go for it.

Believe it or not I got up at 6:00 Sunday morning to watch hockey. Why?? I have no idea. Never thought that would happen. However there were some folks in this house that thought they should watch the game. Who am I to argue? After all, I just pay the mortgage around here.

So I watched the game. Canada won. It was exciting. Kind of. I called an offside against Canada at one point and got an earful for that. I didn’t know why. It was explained to me that we were cheering for Canada and therefore not calling any infractions against them. I had to make it clear to the others that I am a mediator. I call things the way I see it. I am impartial. I am neutral. (That probably explains why I could never be a politician.)

Then there was golf. From the deserts of Arizona. The more I watched the more I missed my golf outing from a year ago. All the holes looked familiar. Looked like the courses I played on last year. From the cacti to the sand to the rocks and the rock hills in the background. Wish I could go back. I will. Someday.

It was a weekend for match play. That simply means that whoever wins the most holes wins the match. Not a total score game as per usual. Anything can happen and trust me, it did. I was rooting for two players. One made it to the finals. He was up 3 holes going to the back nine. All things being equal, that should have been enough. However the lead slipped away. It went to a playoff. That is when the fun began. To watch a playoff in a match play format is fun. Anything can happen. And it did. Impossible shots from amongst the cactus and rocks to a few feet from the pin. But at the end my guy won. Really that is all that matters.

What I learned is that one should never give up. Regardless of what lies in front of us. Regardless of our odds. There is hope. Sometimes we just need to think less and act more. Give it our best. Close our eyes and hit the ball. And if everything else fails we still come in second. In this case second place was still worth in excess of $900,000. Significantly less than the $1.5 million for the winner, but still a substantial amount. Not a bad return for spending time in balmy temperatures, enjoying green grass, gentle breezes, hitting golf balls. It could be worse. You could be mired in a winter that won’t quit near Winnipeg. Need I say more? Make it a good one.

The Sound of Spring

As I sit here on a Tuesday morning, just over the half-way point of February, I try to find positives in whatever I can. The weather seems to have taken a break from the relentless onset of cold, wind and snow. There is actually some melting going on. I have been clearing our deck of snow. Not sure why. I had secretly hoped it would collapse. That might move it up on our priority list of projects. We do need a new deck. But we also need new. . . bunch of stuff.

I heard a crow today. At first I thought it was a hallucination. Not sure how that could happen unless I overdosed on coffee. Then I heard it again. That is a positive. A sure sign that Spring is coming. In fact it might be here we just haven’t noticed because of the wind, snow and cold temperatures. Okay. I know that makes little sense. But if you think about? It works.

When I mentioned to my wife that I had heard a crow she gave me a puzzled look. She really was wondering why that was a good thing. Here I would have thought she would be happy about that too. However I needed to explain to her. Today I like the sound of a crow. During the summer? Not so much. In fact I have some memories of those critters, difficult to call them birds with that god awful sound they make, waking me back in the days of camping.

As you know I am grasping at any sign I see. A sign of something better. Received an email this week from a faithful follower who sent pictures from days of old. Days when it was difficult, if not impossible, to warm up a car. Pictures of snow piled on cars, sidewalks, and streets. He sent that as a friendly reminder that with all my complaining I should take things in perspective. He makes a valid point. Perspective is what it is all about.

Chatted with a farmer this week who was berating himself for some of the decisions he made in the past. They had an awesome crop. No place to put it. Piled it outside. Now in the process of marketing it. Prices have plummeted. The system is plugged up. What looked good a few short months ago has changed. He was concerned about certain decisions he had made. He had lost perspective.

So truth be told, I took an extended lunch to watch some hockey. Perhaps that is not entirely accurate as I work out of a home office and who really knows how long my lunches are. I said that just in case my wife reads this. Need to make sure that she thinks I actually work when she is not here. It is the Olympics. Canada was playing. Played against Latvia. Not even sure where that is. However, it was an interesting game. A close game. I suspect they had Canada worried. Shots were 57 to 16 in favor of Canada. The score did not reflect that. At one point the commentator, when talking about Latvia’s phenomenal goal tending, made the comment that there was $150 million of play coming at the goal tender. So, in other words, a game that should handily be won by the Canadians.

The Canadians did win. The Latvians showed an incredible resilience. In spite of the over whelming odds against them they put up a good fight. Life lesson? You know me. Keep fighting. There is always hope. You may not always win but you can still put out a good effort. Just maintain your perspective. As for me? I will keep fighting this winter that never leaves. I will clear more snow to make room for the snow that is coming. I will take heart from the sunshine. I will survive. And I will take a positive from the sound of crows. For me that is a sign of spring. For me that is perspective. And, quite frankly, that is all that matters. Make it a good one.